Profile of Offenders
Efforts to conceptualize incest before 1980 led to it being categorized as a subcategory of pedophilia (Stoller 1975). Since then, the trend is to describe incest in terms of interaction factors in the family context (Bentovim 1992; Trepper and Barrett 1986). Some researchers believe that incest does not have a single cause; rather it develops from a combination of influences (Finkelhor 1986; Friedrich 1990; Maddock and Larson 1995; Trepper and Barrett 1989). Incest is a complex and varied family dynamic, although at the same time some patterns of sexual abuse may be predictable and reflective of general disturbances in family patterns of interactions (Maddock and Larson 1995). Some of the systemic factors that influence whether or not incest will occur in a family include intrapsychic influences, relational variables, developmental variables, and situational or circumstantial that make incest more or less likely to occur.
Researchers agree that perpetrators of incest are more likely to be males than females, although plenty of evidence has emerged since the 1980s that shows that some mothers do sexually abuse their children. Fewer female offenders are willing to admit to committing incest (Allen 1991), and society may consider women to be sexually harmless. But it is important to recognize the increased opportunity that women have to perpetrate incest as primary caretakers of children ( Jennings 1993). Women in all societies are given a great deal of responsibility of raising children, and with that comes control over their dependents. They are more often in charge of many intimate activities surrounding the care of the child, including things such as breastfeeding, putting to bed, and bathing. Some cultures where mother-son closeness is the norm may have more occurrences of incest. For example, some Japanese mothers initiate sexual acts with their sons after witnessing their sons masturbate for the first time in order to teach him about sex (Katahara 1989). One very small Australian study of a clinical sample of male incest survivors found a number of factors most likely to influence the occurrence of sexual abuse of young males (Harper 1993). Those include living in a single-parent family headed by a woman of low socioeconomic status where the mother suffers from a schizophrenic illness and/or abuses drugs or alcohol, and where there is a history of violent parental behavior.
Women may commit incest for different reasons than do males. Gender expectations and socializations may vary for males and for female perpetrators, but this does not mean that one form of incest is less harmful to the victim than the other. Regardless of the type of perpetrator, incest perpetrators commit incest for a variety of reasons. They often have poor skills in dealing with their emotions, demonstrate poor empathy skills, and display a marked inability to observe the behavior of others. These perpetrators are often emotionally in a developmental stage equivalent to that of the child they are assaulting.
In a study of seventy-five male and sixty-five female sexual abuse perpetrators, the men and women showed no difference in educational levels, both reported that their marriages as less stable than their parents', and both reported their need for emotional fulfillment is greater than their need for sexual fulfillment (Allen 1991). Both offenders report the least intrusive form of offending (exhibitionism, voyeurism, touching) to be more frequent than oral, vaginal, or anal intercourse. At the same time, women offenders were less likely to report committing sexual activities with children, more likely to report their own experience as victims of sexual abuse, and reported lower marital satisfaction. Women reported greater satisfaction with the relationship with their children, more sexual satisfaction with their spouses/partners, and reported having more sexual partners than the male perpetrators. Women offenders reported significantly higher need for both emotional and sexual fulfillment. Women offenders report more physical abuse by their partners and family of origin. Many more women than men sexually abuse with another (usually male) person whereas men are more likely to commit their offense alone ( Jennings 1993). Females tend to use violence less often than males during their offending (Krug 1989). Females are more likely to know their victims; the abuse is usually less frequent and shorter in duration; and female offenders usually have fewer victims ( Jennings 1993).
Men as incest perpetrators are not a homogeneous group. In a study funded by a grant from the National Center on Child Abuse and Neglect, researchers identified five distinct types of incestuous fathers: sexually preoccupied, adolescent regressive, instrumental sexual gratifiers, emotionally dependent offenders, and angry retaliators (Williams and Finkelhor 1992). This typology helps to foster better understanding of the motivations for abuse and may enable better treatment for incest perpetrators. It should be kept in mind that an offender may not fit perfectly into one type; most offenders are a combination of one or more types.
The first type, the sexually preoccupied offenders, is characterized by a sexual interest in their victim, usually from an early age. This offender usually begins molesting the child before age six and continues the molestation past puberty. The second type, the adolescent regressive offenders, has a conscious sexual interest in their victims but usually do not begin molesting until the victims approach or reach puberty. The third type of offenders, the instrumental sexual gratifiers, uses the victim as a vehicle for sexual fantasy. These offenders are more sporadic in their offending, and they often associate the action with remorse. The fourth type, the emotionally dependent, is often lonely and depressed, sex is not a primary motivator, and they often romanticize their need for closeness and intimacy. Fifth, angry retaliators demonstrate low sexual arousal toward their victims but instead use the sexual assault to focus their anger. Often, the assault on the victim is in retaliation for a real or imagined infidelity or abandonment by a spouse.
Besides there being some risk factors for becoming an incest perpetrator, the authors of one Swedish research study suggested there may be protective factors that prevent some victims from entering the victim-to-abuser cycle (Glasser et al. 2001). Those include: (1) positive self esteem; (2) the presence of other important adults in the child's life; (3) religious education stressing positive development and forgiveness rather than sin and damnation; (4) success in school, sports, or other activities; (5) personality, strengths, and social situations that promote long-term goals; (6) parental monitoring reducing the frequency of abuse; and (7) age-appropriate sexual knowledge prior to abuse.
User Comments Add a comment…
3 days ago
Tinder tindermadwulf ((at)) gmail dot com
I can so relate to what Posie wrote. My father was exactly the same way. I have struggled for some many years trying to understand why my father was like he was. Now he is emotionally distant from me, probably because when I was 18 I finally told him to stop. He told me he "only did what he did because he loved me." The effects of my molestation have been with me for nearly 30 years.
18 days ago
ygrene sybillamige ((at)) gmail dot com
I have read all the comments on this page and I must say I am so proud of everyone! I was abused by the pedophile (I call my father "the pedophile" because he doesn't deserve the term "father") from age 5 till I was 13. He was the "sexually preoccupied offender". He died of a heart attack when I was 18: he was only 37. There was some justice after all! He never once acknowledged that what he had done was wrong. When my mother finally confronted him when I was 13, he asked her, in front of me: "Would you rather I had gone to prostitutes?!". As if my mission in life had been to satisfy his sexual needs. For 20 years I avoided all contact with my family. I am 44 now, I am married, but never had children (probably for the best). I am most curious about the abuser's frame of mind, what makes them what they are, why they abuse children. I have been reading all kinds of materials on the internet and came across this website. The pedophile has been dead for 25 years, but I'm not yet free of the abuse. Working on it though. Courage to all of you.
about 1 month ago
Posie
I was molested by my father from age 11ish to 14ish. He would sneak into my room while I was asleep and I would wake up to his fondling and pretend to be asleep and roll or cover myself. He touched a friend inappropriately, said it was an accident. He'd grab me tight in front of my mom and bend me backwards and kiss me hard on the mouth "pretending" he was joking around about romance movies. Made my mom mad and she told him to stop. Many other "incidents", all relatively minor but always a sexual component. Also, I attempted to have sex with my brother (13 months younger than me) when I was about 6 yrs old. How did I know what went where? I don't know. I confronted him about 13 yrs ago, he admitted and "repented" and things were good for many years. Now I am 39 with 4 beautiful children. The youngest girl (9) went thru a phase where she adored grandpa. I warned her to not be so "familiar" and so did grandma. Finally she backed WAY off and now my father is making her feel guilt about not hugging and kissing him anymore. She gives a quick hug when she sees him and peck on cheek. I won't allow anything more and actually don't feel comfortable with that much. Now he told her "I don't like you anymore and I don't know what your grandma told you but I'm NOT your grandpa anymore." and left, then came back later to apologize. She is now traumatized a little, lots of crying. He says (after my mom gave him what for) that he doesn't remember molesting ME! He'd already confessed years ago, now he's saying he didn't then and doesn't now remember doing those things to me. I am furious and panicking and freaking out and don't know what to do. I don't ever want to see or hear from him again. But he's my dad and I twistedly still care what happens to him. I feel mental.
2 months ago
mce
I am almost 34 and have never had a long-term relationship or a significant other. Its really hard to make it this far in life and be missing-out on one of the most basic human relationships possible, something that seems so easy for most everyone else. My father molested me at the age of four, when he told me I should do it because my mother did it too. He never had many friends and insisted that I go out with him on Saturday nights throughout my high school years. College brought freedom and I estranged my father for about 10 years. He finally passed away 2 years ago from extreme diabetes, heart attacks, and stroke. He was broke and lonely and felt as though I was the only person he could ask for help because I was the only person he ever truely loved. I felt obligated to go see him in his final days and it gave me an opportunity to see just how sick and twisted he was. Now I want to understand WHY? Why would anyone want to do this? Especially to their own daughter? It makes no sense to me.
4 months ago
Jerry
God's Grace is sufficient for ALL. That's why Christ died on the cross. I am a victim of my own father's & brothers' abuse. This is nothing new. It's been happening since the beginning of time. It's called SIN.(The Fall of Man)Gen 35:21-22 "It was while he was there that Reuben slept with Bilhah, his father's concubine, and someone told Israel about it." Read the entire chapter of Leviticus 18. It pretty much covers EVERYTHING. Christ died for the victim and abuser too. Of course their is NO excuse, but the cycle of abuse MUST be stopped & dealt with, otherwise the family's generation will only get worse. God's Peace be with you!
8 months ago
Roma eilroma90 ((at)) hotmail dot com
I am a perpatrator of an incestual crime. At the age of 13 i did something that will haunt me for the rest of my life. I've had counseling and it did do a lot to help break my ways of thinking, and my excuses. I find life hard to live, i'm indecisive, i fear getting into relationships with women because they will find out about this monstrous part of me and my freinds will reject me. I wish to tell people the truth but fear i'm not strong enough to deal with the contemt and am suicidal as it is. At the same time i hide from human contact and feel life in the most impotent of ways, where I bring myself out of despair, but can't reach a level of fullness similar to the feelings felt in a relationship or a belief in God. What should i do end my life or go on living a lie?
8 months ago
- naigangurl ((at)) yahoo dot com
my brother molested me from around the age of six til the age of ten.. im 20 now.. at that age, i never really understood what was going on.. and for a while, i thought it was gone away.. but ive awoken many times at night to find him on top of me, or touching me.. pls help me.. i dont know what to do.. and i dont know how to tell my parents..
10 months ago
The Hammer RandyMiyan ((at)) gmail dot com
Today my Uncle was found dead in his bed at the age of 56, due to stroke or heart attack (waiting on results), but as a result of severe alcoholism. My biological father, his brother, died from a cardiac arrest at the age of 53, the result of alcoholism and addiction. I have known for awhile now that their problems were a result of incestuous abuse. I am still missing a few minor pieces of the puzzle, but saw MANY grooming and tell-tale signs from my grandmother over the years. I have no association with that side of the family due to their sickness. But after todays death, its time for me to soldier-up and drop the hammer on the dirty little secret.
about 1 year ago
helpless five4jesusc ((at)) aol dot com
What do you do when you find out that your son is molesting your daughter? Iv'e read many of the comments here and he doesn't seem to fit in any of the profiles. I'm trying to understand why he did this and what I should do about it. Is he sick in the head? Will he need to be put in a hospital? I don't know what to do. I'm really sick about it. I know I need to help both my son and my daughter, but how? What is best for both of them? Can anyone offer any advice?
about 1 year ago
Karl kartaslo ((at)) hotmail dot com
I faced the stark reality that my former wife was a victim of incest when I discovered that her father was continuing this even during our marriage. From her own anecdotes, she had been a witness to the abuse by other members of her family since she was 3. I learned of her drug use and former prostitution, all true to form symptoms of a victim. She continues to live with him to this day.
about 1 year ago
Mary metta ((at)) juno dot com
please withold my name. My youngest brother molested my youngest sister from the time she was six until she was twelve. She is now in her forties and revealed this to me, my sister and another brother several years ago. Her mental anguish over these assaults and betrayals by a family member were indiscribable. Our mother is 86 years old and has not been told which in turn leads to the confusion of why we do not allow the youngest brother to be part of family gatherings anymore. Yesterday he and his girlfriend (who does not know) arrived at a family gathering for the celebration of mom's birthday and we three confronted him (for the first time) and told him he was not welcome, because we knew what he had done. He appeared startled, defensive, confused and responded with 'that only happened once and never again'. We knew better but his response still planted doubt as to if these memories were 'false' in the youngests sisters mind. The family is in turmoil, we have had to tell a lie to protect mom from the truth, she is very angry at us for 'driving' the brother out of the fold and it just looks like it is going to get worse before it gets better. My sister has had to live with this all her life, we support her and love her unconditionally. How can this brother have removed what he did from his mind so completely?
about 1 year ago
Angela angela ((at)) thehagertys dot us
It is interesting to read profiles on sexual perpetrators. There is a great deal of information out there on survivors and healing, but not a lot on the perpetrators. It helps to read about perpetrators--to help understand these crimes so victims can realize that the abuser was not their fault. Fathers and step father who sexually abuse their own children--are masters at fooling their victims into believing that they were at fault. My perpetrator has convinced himself, that although he had sex with me when I was in elementary school--that this was my fault. I initiated it. I was a bad child. He did nothing wrong. He does not define what happened as "sexual abuse." He seems me as a willing accomplice. Many victims remain silent, because the perpetrators have shamed them into believing these bizarre and false denial systems. Putting the perp under the microscope, puts the blame where it belongs. We were innocent children, no matter how distorted the perp's thinking is. Now, if only the perpetrators would read up on their pathology. It's hard to suffer to so much, as a result of the abuse--knowing that the perpetrator sleeps soundly at night, not giving one wit about the wake of destruction they've left behind.
about 1 year ago
Barbara barbtync ((at)) earthlink dot net
Both my husbands and sons suffered the affects of living with an incest survivor. After I forcefully complained by the age of 12, when I finally had words, I was beaten by both parents for years. I didn't act out the anger, I ran away, depressed and abused alcohol. I was always the "sick" one. My mother minimized, denied, and said I ought to get my act together and quit blaming. When I had granddaughters, the fear for them being around my father forced me to open up. My sons quit visiting them. Even after confrontation, and trusting that finally mother understood the damage she continually exposed me to, I discovered they were still denying, telling my family I had "problems" and was a liar. And my father continually made sexual remarks to me as a grown woman about my body, patting my behind etc.. This is a deal breaker. I am now 11 years sober, they are in their 80's and ill, and I'm going to confront again and tell them I can't be around them. To me, they are both abusers. They'll have to deal with their old age alone. I'm not responsible for the choices they made, and I'm not responsible for their misery now. I had the misfortune to be born to a couple of nuts, now I am FREE!
about 1 year ago
withheld msn ((at)) earthlink dot net
good info. i am an incest survivor and came to this site as research for a book i am currently writing. as part of my healing, it is my goal to open the eyes of the abusers and help them to empathize with feelings of the victim. victims have questions and the abusers have the answers. It is about time that they start coming forth with those answers.
over 2 years ago
Yana raincityhiker ((at)) yahoo dot com
Interesting. I never looked into the profiles of the abusers before. I was molested by my father, seems he was a adolescent regressive, emotionally dependent type. I'm glad I avoided the victim-to abuser cycle, probably several of the reasons listed. Some intervention helped I suppose. Although I still suffer with depression 30 years after the fact. I figured he was sick in the head, he eventually got alzheimers. Anyway, I needed the info for a school project, I'm finally getting a degree. Better late than never huh? Good luck to all