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Incest - Effects On Victims

gender family development sexual sense abuse experience

Sexually abused children report and/or display affective, cognitive, physical, and behavioral symptoms (Shaw et al. 2000). Symptoms may include general behavior problems, delinquency, anxiety, regressive behaviors, nightmares, withdrawal from normal activities, internalizing and externalizing disorders, cruelty and self-injury, post-traumatic stress disorder, poor self-esteem, and age-inappropriate sexual behavior. A review of forty-five studies indicated two common patterns of psychological response to incest (Williams and Finkelhor 1993). The first are those associated with posttraumatic stress symptomology. The second is an increase in sexualized behaviors, including sexualized play with dolls, putting objects into anuses or vaginas, excessive or public masturbation, seductive behavior, and age-inappropriate sexual knowledge and behavior.

Long-term psychological sequelae of incest include depression, anxiety, psychiatric hospitalization, drug and alcohol use, suicidality, borderline personality disorder, somatization disorder, and eroticization (Schetky 1990; Silverman, Reinherz, and Giaconia 1996). Common, too, are learning difficulties, posttraumatic stress disorder, dissociative disorders and conversion reactions, running away, prostitution, re-victimization, poor parenting, and an increased likelihood of becoming a perpetrator. The frequency and severity of psychological sequelae secondary to sexual abuse has been related to frequency and duration of the abuse, relationship to the perpetrator, use of force, type of sexual abuse, penetration, age of the victim, age difference between victim and offender, and the parental support variable (Schetky 1990). Most incest victims experience confusion about their own reactions to the incest experience. It is this betrayal of innocence and resultant confusion, along with the loss of control and power over one's own behavior, that lead to the emotional and psychological impact on the victim. Victims often experience, both at the time of the incestuous act and later as adults, a sense of shame, a feeling of powerlessness, and a loss of their childhood.

Sibling incest is often thought to be the least harmful form. Although one of the key aspects of incest is the difference in power between the perpetrator and the victim, sexual behavior between two siblings of equal power, where touching, looking, and exploring are mutual decisions, can still pose problems for the participants and/or parents. What Diana Russell (1986) calls the myth of mutuality in relation to sibling incest may put the victim in a psychologically and physically vulnerable position. In her research with adult women, she found that 78 percent of her subjects who had had childhood sexual experiences reported that their sexual behavior with brothers was abusive. When the reported sexual behavior was with a sister, 50 percent of the female subjects experienced the behavior as abusive. Approximately one-half reported sibling incest as extremely upsetting, and another one-fourth as somewhat upsetting. The degree of coercion and the emotional harm in sibling incest may be more underestimated than incest in general.

The effects of sexual abuse on children and their later development into adulthood depend on at least five important factors: the age of the child, the duration of the abuse, the type of the abuse, the manner in which the child frames the abuse, and the ability of the child to heal. It is likely that there are important gender differences in how girls and boys make sense out of incest experiences. Girls tend to view the incest experience within the larger context of the child-adult relationship and are likely to be more concerned with the perpetrator's feelings and family stability. In contrast, a boy may focus more on his own sexual experience. All children, whether male or female, attempt to make sense of or to create an explanation for the incestuous relationship as a part of the healing process.

The ability of people to heal from a damaging experience is related to their ability to confront their own feelings of fear, terror, anger, rage, confusion, helplessness, and vulnerability. A common report of adult victims of childhood incest is a clear sense of removing oneself from the event. A sense that it was being done to someone else and/or a sense of leaving the body during the sexual contact are common reports. The danger is that denial becomes the preferred or most common behavior to deal with stress. Moving beyond denial to healing requires that the incest victims allow themselves to experience the feelings of confusion, rage, and helplessness.

To manipulate the victim, most incest perpetrators foster in the child a set of behaviors that help the child maintain the denial and self-deception needed to survive an ongoing incestuous relationship. The effects of this on the victim can be manifested in multiple ways, including fear of violence, sex, intimacy, and people of the same sex as the perpetrator. Confusion of gender identity, as well as uncontrolled sexual activity, may also result. There is often a need to care for and control others, at home, school, and work. Feelings of isolation, shame, and guilt, often not associated with any specific activity, help to foster a poor self-image, which may lead to suicidal behavior. There is also a tendency for victims of incest to suffer from other disorders, such as sleep disturbances, nightmares, depression, and eating disorders. Incestuous relationships are at a minimum a contributing factor to the above effects, and for countless victims, they are the primary contributor.

Part of the process of healing is the victim's awareness of the context within which he or she made choices. Often, in treatment, victims gain a sense of empowerment when they can begin to trace the development of the incestuous relationship over time. Typically, victims can account for a gradual increase in their ability to make choices and implement them. Victims have often stated that at a certain time, they were able to stop the incest perpetrator's manipulations with the threat of breaking secrecy.


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almost 8 years ago

no face, no name, that's what incest looks like. it is abuse period ! no way around it. It is someone taking control of your mind, thoughts and taking your body. may god bless each incest person.

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over 10 years ago

Who is the jerk who posted the inconsiderate judgement on another person's post regarding their experience with incest? You have no business posting on this site if you are only here to criticize and judge others. Some people struggle with grammar and others just have a lot of typos in their writing. We don't all edit ourselves as we type, especially when relieving our minds of thoughts wrought with emotion. Poor Ann has been turned off to reaching out for help because of some ignorant, self-righteous person!

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over 7 years ago

hello everyone ,
pleasee contact me i will accept all advice thanks.
well i am 16 years old Female name Emily.
i dont remember when my dad started SEXUALLY ABUSING ME :'( But about 2years ago i came out the closet the 1st person i told was a girl i thought was my best friend but she didnt help, then i told my currently boyfriend of 3years he listen and dosent ask much from me he supports me and loves me iknow he has proven it, 3years ago i still lived with my father at age 15 was the last time he molested me i feel so bad sometimes i Blame Myself because i let him do it for almost 10years everyday&everynight I lived from house to house seeing people do drugs everyday all day. I was always the only girl in the house there was ALWAYS GUYS & only guys i sometimes wonder if they ABUSED ME TOO BUT I CANT REMEMBER NOTHING MAYBE HE DRUGED ME AND DRUGED ME I HAVE A HORRIBLE PAST .. i cant move on i have horrible flashbacks and ihate it i hate MYSELF i am alwats depressed , ihave alot of problems i sometimes cant even trust myself i am emberrased of my body and i HURT my love ones for no reason i can do ALot of bad stuff i grew up with No MOTHER SHE LEFT WEN I WAS 3 well thats what people that knew her say SHE HAS 4 OTHER KIDS AND NEVER TOOK CARE OF THEM .. I HAVE AN OLDER BROTHER HES 18 RIGHT NOW I TOLD HIM 2YEARS AGO TOO ABOUT THE SEXUALLY ABUSED HE WENT TO JUVENILE HALL FOR 8MONTHS FOR ASSULT WITH A DEADLY WEAPON AGAINST OUR FATHER HE HATES HIM NOW HE WILL KILL HIM BUT HE KNOWS BETTER HE IS THE ONLY ONE I HAVE OTHER THAN MY BOYFRIEND . MY FATHER IS NOT
IN JAIL OR PRISON I HAVENT REPORTED IT ..BECAUSE I AM SCARED I AM 16 AND PREGNANT MY BOYFRIEND IS A LITTLE OLDER THAN ME BUT CONSIDER AN ADULT
I HAVE BEEN LIVING WITH HIM (boyfriend,babysdaddy) SINCE 13 HE HAS TOOKEN CARE OF ME BECAUSE MY DAD LEFT AND KICKED ME OUT SINCE I DIDNT LET HIM ABUSE ME NO MORE HE GOT MAD AND HATES ME , SO NOW I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO I DONT WANNA SPEAK UP BUT I DO NOT WANNA GET SEND TO A GROUPHOME AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIEND, BROTHER AND GET MY BABY TAKEN AWAY :'( i am sad worried !!
I DID ALOT OF DRUGS AND DRINKINN SINCE I WAS 12 YEARS OLD BUT IVE BEEN CLEAN FOR A COUPLE MONTHS INEED SOME ADVICE AND HELP
IWANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I REPORT IT WHAT CAN HAPPEN TO ME SINCE AM UNDERAGE AND NO ONE HAS CUSTODY OR NO ONE IS MY LEGAL GUARDIAN ?? I LIVE IN SAN DIEGO CALIFORNIA
MY FATHER IS NOT IN THIS STATE OR NO WHERE THAT IKNOW. REMBER I AM EXPECT A BABY AND I DONT WANT TO GET MY BOYFRIEND IN TROUBLE OR GO TO JAIL HE IS OLDER THEN ME AND IKNOW THAT ILOVE HIM AND IKNOW HE DOES HE HAS BEEN ABUSED BEFORE AND WE UNDERSTAND EACHOTHER .
I JUST WANT TO KNOW THE GOODS & bads THAT CAN HAPPEN .... EMAIL ME AT ameliousjacob@yahoo.com
thats for my yahoo, facebook or myspace ... anyone going through the same thing or been there done it pleasee contact meee
thanks and god bless yu ALL
I HONORED ALL YOU WHO IS SPEAKIN OUT AND BEING STRONG CUZ ONLY US KNOW HOW HARD IT IS AND THE PAIN WE ARE GOING THROUGH
HUG & KISSES AND KEEP STRONG

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over 10 years ago

When I was seven years old my brother who is two years older than me started sneaking in my room while I was sleeping at night and molesting me, this went on until I was fourteen and it progressively got weirder and weirder. I’m twenty-one now and to this day I cannot talk about it, but I think about it literally everyday of my life. He and I don’t talk about it, he started doing lots of hardcore drugs and I honestly think he forgot. I have never told my Mom, and I feel the need to tell her now, because my brother has gone crazy and needs to be committed. I’m just worried about how she will react, and I don’t want her to think it was her fault, growing up my Dad had cancer and so did she so there wasn’t really a good time to tell anyone. I think I should talk to someone about it, because even though it ended six years ago, it still eats me up inside.

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about 8 years ago

my older brother raped me when i was around 11 or 13. He did so multiple times for two weeks. My mother and father were never around because they were working during the day and they left my older brother in charge of the house and of me and my youngest brother. He would make me wear my mothers nightgowns and forced himself on me in every way you could possibly imagine. He made me perform oral sex to him and at night he would sometimes sneak to my room and had his way with me. he also subjected me to anal sex and forced some objects inside me. one day I felt pain in between my legs and I ran to the bathroom and freaked out because I was loosing blood. He had stolen my virginity and after I told my mother about it she told me not to tell anyone. For 13 years, up until now, I never told my father nor my youngest brother. My mother gets angry when I want to talk about it. She thinks I put myself as a victim all the time and she tells me to forget it and forgive my brother because we were both children back then but the truth is I can't forgive nor can I forget. I'm mad at my brother to the point where I start to feel that he doesn't deserve to live or go to heaven. And I hate my mother because she has told me to keep quiet about it all these years and most importantly for not being there to help me when I needed her. Now my mother is an elderly woman and as you may know elderly people demand help from their children. I am now 26 and both my mother and brother live everyday as if it never happened. I help my mother with things around the house but inside I'm dying to scream blasphemies at them both. As an adult I am not well, psychologically speaking. I have depression and suffer from anxiety. I am anti social, especially towards men. I am single and afraid of men. sex, to me, nowadays is vulgar. I can't have a man touch me in any sexual way and I have not have sex since my brother. It got to the point where I chose to never form a family. I am ashamed and wonder if god has forgiven me. I feel guilt and sadness everyday. I can't speak to anyone about it. My mother doesn't deserve me. As her daughter I followed her throughout the years in hope that one day I would find peace. Instead she is keeping me from living in peace. I don't think my mother is a good mother. i feel like she sometimes uses me because i help her to pay her bills. I live with both of them (due to the economic state) and every morning I have to wake up and see their faces and deal with them. If I had the chance to leave the house I am in with financial security I would take it and cut ties with both of them, no, with everyone I once knew.

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about 11 years ago

This information is quite useful. I too, was raised in a incestuous relationship with my natural father from the age of 3-15 years old. I have a 22 year old child born from this relationship. She is healthy and married w/18mo. twin daughters. I have tried to overcome my childhood and feel I am stronger than most. However I do relate to many of the above referenced longlasting effects of this. I would like to be able to find someone to share my story with and know that I am not alone. So I have searched the internet to do this and have came across this info.

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about 7 years ago

I'm just going to take a few moments to comment about two of the above posts, one from "WELL" and the other from "SOMEONE". "WEll", you sound so proud of the fact that you molested your brother, sister, and cousin.. Bless their souls for being able to pretend that there is something decent about you as a human being and therefore still have you apart of their lives. As for "SOMEONE", your are a very confused, disturbed individual. I can only pray that neither one of you EVER have children of your own. Both of you are completely pathetic and worthless.

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over 8 years ago

i was sexually abused by my father from the time i could walk till the age of 12. He told me it was normal, that every family did it and i believed him. He is my father, when your a kid of course you believe everything your parents tell you. Today he has a new wife and 3 other kids. I tried telling his new wife what he did to me and to watch out although she did not believe me. I am only a teenager and i have a high sex drive. I masterbate freequently and enjoy it. I have self esteem issues and im scared that when i get older i will be a sex freak too.

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almost 9 years ago

"Sibling incest is often thought to be the least harmful form." To the author(s): Tell that to the victims/survivors of incest. Abuse is abuse - universally painful and harmful. I understand what was trying to be conveyed (the degrees and levels of abuse); however, more sensitive writing would have been appreciated.



As I survivor of incest abuse and being made a victim another time from a non-family members force, I can firmly state my experiences in both situations were equally traumatic and harmful.

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over 7 years ago

i was sexually abused by my older brother from the time i was 7 til i was 15. it happened everyday. im now 35, never married, no kids(he damaged my reproductive organs)for the reason why i have no kids. the abuse made me very promiscuous. i hate my brother. he has a very beautiful family, great job. i have post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, self-esteem issues and tried commiting suicide. all thanks to that bastard. he took life from me. i trust no man and never will.

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about 8 years ago

I was a victim of incest from the age of 7 up until high school. One day when I was 7 I crawled into bed with my older brother because I was scared of the storm. Being the innocent 7 year old that I was, I had no idea what my brother was trying to do to me. He told me that in order for me to feel less scared I needed to take off all of my clothing and he did the same. Slowly he started touching and then intercourse happened. I did not know what had happened at the time, but this occurred countless times for 9 years. I am now 22 years old and still live with my older brother. We never speak of the incestuous times and never act differently around each other. About a year ago my mother alluded to a similar situation that happened with her and her older brother when she was younger. She didn't say anything in particular, but i quickly caught on a realized that the same thing happened to her. I have not seen a specialist about this at all, but I have noticed that my entire life I have pretended that it never happened. I pretend that everything is okay, when deep down it haunts me. I told my current boy friend about this and he is the first person I have ever told. He made a connection that I tend to cover things up or pretend that things that I'm not proud of never happened. I think that this behavior is a result of what happened to me in my childhood. I also have very few memories of my childhood and remember almost none of my favorite nursery rhymes, children's books, or cartoons. I don't even know what my favorite toy or favorite food was when I was little. Also, I have noticed that I lie a lot. I wonder if this would all happen had my brother not molested me while we were growing up. Also, I was very promiscuous throughout high school and my first two years of college. I had countless one-night stands and usually did not care if the guy wore any kind of protection. I have gotten tested many times and only have HPV (although I hear is very common among sexual active people). Now I fear that my current relationship will be ruined because of what happened to me in the past (not because I told my boy friend about the situation, but because of my lying and my ability to pretend things never happened). I am now scared that if I decide to have children of my own one day that they will carry this incestuous trait. I never want to have my children experience the same childhood trauma that me, my older brother, and my mother have felt.

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about 9 years ago

about 4 years ago i found out that my sister was molested by my uncle. he was always a weird guy but we never thought that he would go the extent of doing anything like this. my aunt whom was married to him told my mother that if he children whom were older ever found out that she would kill herself!
my intier family upon the request of my sister had to keep it from her children while he continued to show up to family functions and talk and act like nothing ever happened. we all did a great job of blocking it out. last night i told my girlfriend about what happened and she then told me that when her brother was about 12 or 13 she had a relationship with him. she is 2 years younger witch at the time would have made her around 10. when i heard all of this i broke down. she won't tell me the act of witch happened with him but i need to know how to mentally deal with it. i am 26 and ahe is 3 years younger than me and has had by far more sexual partners than me. im not sure what to do. i never wanted to know what exactly happened to my sister but all of the sudden it is driving me crazy and i feel like i want to know everything about what happened to my sister and now my girlfriend. im hating life right now and i feel like im completely in the dark because something sparked in me and the truth is the only thing i am looking for but its also what i am scared of. seriously someone give me some advice if you think it can help me. im a total mess !

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about 8 years ago

I wouldn't even know where to start. This is my second attempt to write something but I'm struggling. I was abused as child. I'm from a family of eleven children and my family has been destroyed by incest. My mother and father still live together and are in complete denial, even though none of their children speak to them. Two years ago a couple of my sisters came out and told us they were abused by my father. Ever since our family has fallen apart. Myself, I can't deal with it and have distanced myself from all my siblings. Everytime we get together, it always comes back to this issue. Socially, I have cut off from everyone. I was a very popular person at work, a manager, a trainer, known by over 1500 people that I work with, now I sit by myself at work each day, ignore everyone, ashamed that someone might find out. One of my sisters tried to commit suicide a couple of weeks back. I have just had a little boy and have been happily married for 6 years. Overwhelmed by the whole situation I don't talk about it but each day it haunts me and I'm now worried that it is going to affect my innocent little boy and my wife. Lost

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over 7 years ago

I am almost 60. I have studied the sexual, physical abuses that occur within children, of course having gone through this experience.
I would like the courts to see the true effects of sexual abuse. The abuser gets a slap on the wrist, the abused are handed a life sentence. Even though I am certainly not defined by my past experiences, it doesn't negate the fact that everytime you hear about a child on the new, I have found that all of a sudden I revert back to the memories that I have been forced to live with and I once again become that terrified little girl.
I have learned as years pass, that I must forgive those things that I will never forget.
Pedophiles are diseased. This is something ingrained in their psychological makeup that cannot be changed. They may very well seek help, claim that they are cured but this is not going to happen. However, making the courts look at this fact is the most difficult task. I would love to stand in front of the judges and put it to them this way....Ok judge what if someone walked up to you this very second and said, "From this second on, you will never be attracted to men or women whatever your preference, any longer.....You will only have sexual thoughts from now on of children, never an adult? How does this make you feel? Does it make you sick to your stomach? Pedophiles, will feel just as sick to their stomach thinking they could never have sexual feelings for children, it must be adults....
Its not going to happen...Just like us, we are attracted to a certain type of individual...for me it is men, for some could be both, but we can't control the attraction. It is in our make up as individuals.
My point to this is, a pedophile or anyone that is ever caught touching, molesting, raping a child should never again be allowed to be placed in any proximity with a child again.....We have to come together as country and save these children...our most precious commodity.
I was raped by my grandfather from 3-11 yrs. Simultaneously molested by a teenage boy in the community. After my grandfather died, we had an old man that would come down to our farm with the premise that he was going to help us with papa gone. He was a monster to me, I knew what was going to happen. I was raised in a time where you didn't talk about this, to anyone...In my time kids were to be seen not heard.
Each of us have within incredible spirits and resillience. They may have gotten by with it then, but don't let them win...You can get through this stronger than ever. You can do it with a great heart, compassion, and these experiences are your knowledge to be there for someone else...It took me years to realize this is not me, this will not define the human being that I am, YOU DID NOT WIN....YOU DID NOT WIN....Just like this posting, as a victim you feel small, helpless, afraid, etc...but deep inside YOU ARE STRONG....DO NOT RELINQUISH YOUR LIFE TO THEM...TAKE IT BACK...CUT THE TIE THAT BINDS YOU TO THE ANGER...BUILD STRENGTH AND LEAVE THAT BEHIND....You will never forget, but you can manage it...
For me, Life is good...yes I am alone because the trust issues were my biggest problem...but I had to deal with this and evaluate how to get past that...for me it was being alone, but once I worked through all of the other issues I realized I am ok....and you will be too...God Bless to all of you that live in the community of Brothers and Sisters that care and truly understand. My thoughts with all of you that still suffer, I would love to put you in my pocket and take you on my journey so you could find the real YOU....

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almost 11 years ago

My father was the perpetrator. The strange thing is I blocked out most of these memories. They started to come to me after I got married. I guess the events were so traumatizing that I cannot remember the details of the worst of it. I dont understand why a father would do that to a child. I was helpless my mother had died and there he is taking advantage of his daughters? Everyone loved my father he is now dead. How strange huh?

Dawn

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almost 11 years ago

Lora,
I come from a family of tragic sexual abuse.
As a mother you have to trust your instincts. If you have the money and strength and wisdom to get out of there and separate from that man, then you are blessed and doing the right thing. Try to make sure that he only visits with your daughter when there is someone else you trust around. COMMUNICATE, most of all: Teach your daughter that she can tell you when someone touches her in a sexual way or if someone makes her touch them in sexual ways. Teach her a language to communicate with you. Stay alert & open to her. Thank you for being brave to share your feelings.

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almost 11 years ago

I'm 21 now, but I suffered sibling incest from age 8 to 13. When I told my family, they made my brother stop and I started going to counseling. However, the person who treated me minimized it and I ended up trying to commit suicide...

My parents got me someone else and I saw that person for a while but then discontinued therapy, because I was just trying to please everybody and not making progress myself. Of course, I didn't tell them that.

Daily, I fight thoughts of suicide and self-injury without my family knowing, and I try my best at everything to please them. My brother is now happily married, though his wife doesn't know about what happened, and I fear him having a daughter... I don't know what I'd do if he did that to her, knowing that it'd be my fault his wife couldn't defend the child...

Now I'm considering going back to therapy, but I'm not sure. I mean, I want to be a survival story, but sometimes it feels like too much to survive...

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over 7 years ago

I've been going to counseling about the fact that my father tried to molest me, but my mother walked in on us. She's always believed me, but now, I have to tell my brother. He worshipped my father and has grown apart from my Mother as a result of my Mother taking action against him for being physically abusive to her. It's like my Mom and I vs my brother. It's sick. This It happened almost twelve years ago, but I still remember it as clear as day. My father has since passed away.
My brother and I are very close and I don't want to ruin our relationship, but at the same time, he needs to know so that he doesn't turn into my father. Whenever I try to bring it up, he gets very angry. He needs to know why my Mother did what she did. He has shown signs of being physically abusive, like my father and I want to stop him before he thinks that it is okay and it turns into something else. I love my brother, but I don't know how to approach him right now...

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about 7 years ago

I'm just going to take a few moments to comment about 2 of the above posts, one from "WELL" and the other from "SOMEONE". "WEll", you sound so proud of the fact that you molested your brother, sister, and cousin! Bless their souls for being able to pretend that there is something decent about you as a human being and therefore still have you apart of their lives. As for "SOMEONE", your are a very confused, disturbed individual. I can only pray that neither one of you EVER have children of your own. Both of you are completely pathetic and worthless.

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over 9 years ago

a.s. -you are right to speak abt this. get it out and start working on it, otherwise it will confine you, your whole life. it will always be there in the background. i'm in my 40's and just now shedding light on this, and i knew by now i didn't have a choice anymore, it has kept me down my whole life, always coming out when i least expect it, but primarily i lost the ability to trust anyone, especially men. i'd hate to see you not have a happy life with someone that loves you that you could truly love back. get the junk out and always remember you were a child and have no business taking any responsibility for being abused, NONE! it wasn't your fault! don't wait 20 more yrs like i did to get better, do it now

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over 7 years ago

I was sexually molested by my father. I am 53 married, father, and reasonably successful. I cannot begin to explain the horrific damage to my life that incest and living with the fear and threats of being murdered if I tell anyone has had. To this day I still have nightmares and wonder when and how he will kill me. He is 80 years old now, a feeble shell of a man, in hindsight that was how he always was. The defiling blend of shame, guilt, and helplessness I have carried over the past forty plus years was almost unbearable and often still is. This was a time when not even school officials would question a father literally dragging is son into the classroom bloodied, beaten, and hiding a freshly sodomized secret. Back in those days a parents authority was unquestioned. I loathed the embarrassment of him playing with himself in front of my friends and the subsequent shame of losing friends and being ostracized in school . The porch door fighting of the enraged parents of my newly alienated friends. His wet slime midnight awakenings, my face spattered with his vile essence. May I tell you about my preadolescent years? Ah yes the naive years, The “wonder years” if you will. Those were the years of my early sexualization. When I don’t know better and was persuaded to touch and lick daddy “that way”. I was told “yes son this is perfectly natural, just don’t tell anyone or bad things will happen to us, Mommy could die!” I didn’t want mommy to die. Shameful confession, I physically enjoyed the touching and was painfully aroused at the age of six.

When I became older and bigger the advances declined, I had dropped out of the ninth grade and my fathers mantra was “look at how you are destroying the family” or “If you tell I will kill all of you.” At that point he had a “special young male friend in the navy who would always come over and spend the night. Later we had the FBI show up at the door looking for his friend, he had gone awol and was last seen at our house. My parents had slept in different rooms ever since I could remember. I can only describe their fighting as life threatening. The message my father implanted in my mind was clearly the only way out was death. My own of course. One morning when the house was empty I snooped around in my fathers room and found a shotgun. In that moment I felt so trapped and depressed I put the barrel in my mouth, figured out the safety, and pulled the trigger (Nothing). Later that night I told my mother about the shotgun. Fortunately for us years had gone by and it was the early seventies. Women had become empowered with the resources and help to leave the abuse. The very next day after telling my mother about the gun, my bother and I loaded up a Uhaul van while my father was at work and we moved to a safe house. We were dirt poor but alive. I was on my own by sixteen, put myself through high school, college, and later through years of therapy. My father deny’s most of the abuse, only a few indiscretions he says. Sometimes I can broach the subject and hold conversations with my mother about the past. My brother just wants to let it rest. My sister just about has disowned my mother and I for even bringing the subject up. Unfortunately, my father did an expert job of vilifying me with my siblings. Not a lot of validation from them, my sister was out of the house and married during the worst years, and my brother had joined the ranks of ostracizing me in school to gain peer acceptance. My father skillfully, knowingly or not, had me isolated within my own family. I am glad to still be with the living though. But, I will forever pine for God to grant me a childhood “do over”.

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over 7 years ago

My brother raped me when I was 9 every weekend for about two years when my parent's went out to party and one of my sister's in charge of babysitting us chose to go out on dates instead. I called my parents to come home and they never did. He bribed me and stuck things into me taking my virginity, childhood and future from me. I never said a thing when I was younger because my parent's did not believe other things I said and I was afraid I would end up in a foster home and my brother would of killed himself. Now I wish I would of talked earlier because he went to a priest and everything is supposed to be allright? Plus my mother feels like I should just forgive and move on when she does not realize how much I have put into trying to heal from this but how much it has affected me. I am mad at her for not being there for me and accusing me of being on drugs when I was mouthy or reclusive. She never had a clue, no instinct whatsoever. I decided to have no kids because I was afraid of being a bad parent, I have anxiety, panic attacks and I am depressed. Instead of any of the normal addictions, I choose to have several animals around and some people think weird things about me because of that. My animals are the only thing that keeps me from having a hole in my heart and from being homeless. They are my family and make me happy. I don't trust the men I am in relationships with after awhile and don't enjoy sex as much as I could or have ever had an orgasim with a man. I don't understand why boyfriends do not punch the brother, father, uncle, etc. out for doing this to their girlfriends, none of my boyfriends could even embaress my brother with words for me. I struggle with self-esteem sometimes and cannot believe I have survived this long or am able to stick with anything because I am so sensitive. I worry it's getting worse when I go through rough patches. I should have told my brother's wife, instead her instinct was right on, she just could never prove it and she became the alcoholic and drug user. My mom still does not want to listen to my feelings about it, she just yells at me to forgive and that my poor brother has such a tough life now. He's ruined mine. He has no clue and blames it on listening to heavy metal. If his kids ever ask me what my problem is with him, they will get an earful. I hope that hell has a special place for people that commit incest, just like child abusers in jail or worse. I tried to get into a job to help other girls in this situation and it did not work out but then I started to work more on myself. The only things that have helped me cope have been some counseling, group therapies and finding a good spiritual path. I don't think it ever gets easier or will go away because the perpetrators are out of their minds. It's hard to find good help but as your looking, there are a ton of good books out there, just start reading up on the subject. I have a long way to heal but I am allright with that and plan to be easy on myself.

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almost 8 years ago

Before I was 6, I was physically and sexually abused by my half brother who is 11 yrs older than me. I can't tell you exactly when it started but I know it ended before I was in second grade as he was no longer living with us. I have suppressed the memories and tried to move on, but the more research I do the more I realize the impact that this has had on me.

I'm 29 years old now and still have vivid memories of what happened. I have many times questioned my sexuality. I have had many gay promiscuous relationships. I am a very "closed" person and tend to tell people nothing. The thing that scared me the most was when my mother passed I barely shed a tear and I was very close to my mother as I was the youngest of 3 boys. My mother may know of this and there is no way to ask her now.

I was in a coma from a car accident at age 15 and when I came to this apparently came out. I have no recollection of this. Nobody spoke of it.

Now my brother has recently moved in with my dad and is leeching my retired father who finally go sick of it and has kicked him out. I have this feeling that he thinks he can come stay with me and sometimes I think this would be nice (help with bills etc) and other times I think this could be a very bad idea. I have a lot of pent up aggression and subconciously I'm pretty sure I hate him for what he had done to me.

I have no idea where to start dealing with this, its borderline as to wether or not I could afford counseling, I'm not religious and don't believe in any organized religion.

I have organizational problems, self loathing, drug/alcohol addictions, and I am becoming extremely anti social. I won't let anyone close to me anymore, I push away people who want to be close to me and recently found myself with a loaded gun in my hands.

There is no reason why I should feel this way I'm gainfully employed, own my home, at one point in time I had ALOT of friends some who where very nice people who wanted nothing more than my company. But over the years I have managed to push every one out of my life.

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about 8 years ago

I am a male.I had 1st sexual experience at age of 12, and that too with my cousin brother.It was really horrifying and abusive.I am now 16.Even now, when i think of it, i feel very much ashamed. Sometimes i think like committing suicide. It really very very embarrassing when i see him.

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over 8 years ago

Yesterday, I was informed that my Brother-in-law & neice (his daughter) have been incestuous. This just doesn't happen in Christian Loving Families like ours. We are praying for guidance and supernatural leadership in how to handle this. He has been married to my Sister since 1967 and were sweethearts all the way back to Jr. High.We don't even know this fellow that I have heard so many things in 2 days about. Questionable Business dealings, etc. Has anyone ever encountered a situation where there has been no child abuse or perverse actions with them before. My brother-in-law's close friend says he has lost his mind, and doesn't even know about this latest BOMB!!

My daughter was told by her cousin of this happening.We are dazed and numb with betrayal and hurt. We are at this time protecting my Sister and My 85 year old wonderful Mother.

Any enlightening words are welcome !! He is 62 & daughter is 35..no histroy of this at all !!!they have always been close and resemble eachother the way they look. almost like brother/sister. We are heartbroken and have no words for our pain.

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over 8 years ago

I am addressing my comments to blacklace and to Lynn, in case they read them.

I assume you are a girl not a boy, blacklace, and since you cannot obtain more counselling through welfare, I would suggest you visit a women's shelter and speak to one there. Ask what you can do to get further help. It takes a lot of courage but it seems to me that at such a shelter you would find more understanding of your position. Do not trust any man who wishes to be anything more than strictly a friend until you are more stable. A man who truly loves you will not put you under ANY pressure. It is safer to deal with women in your case, for advice and help.



For Lynn: my mother was not poor, she had married at 37 when independent and well paid and then did not engage in paid work. This meant that when my father showed incestuous behaviour from the time I was 10 and my younger sister was 7, she was in no circumstances to be independent economically. As you know, economic independence is not the only influence on a mother, however. Wives do betray their children and children do feel bitter. I say wives because it is this persona rather than the mother persona which drives resentment against the victimised child and wishes to deny that they are victimised. The wife is in conflict with the mother in the same woman, not a pleasant state. You will have to ask your children to forgive you, and mean it. You will have to say sorry, despite the degree of victimisation by your husband that you also suffered as his wife. And as a mother of the children. This is not a competition. Children long for a real admission from their mother and real grief for them that outweighs her grief for herself as a person. You may have to face up to not having loved your children as much as yourself. It sounds cruel but is true of every wife who allows jealousy and her own emotional need for the man to blind her to the desperation of children, as Mia Farrow acknowledged.Most people end up feeling, but what about me? Even perpetrators feel that, usually because they have suffered some form of maltreatment as a child (NOT necessarily sexual since men appear able to translate emotional deprivation into sexual terms with an ease which amazes a woman). It was never more true of any incest case than to say that in incest NOBODY wins.

I have one more thing to say: children hate parents but they also love them and long to be loved by them, justly and humbly. Injustice has to be redressed, by you. The relief of doing so is gradual but it stays, for child and mother. I am 49 and neither of my parents actually said sorry or truly seemed to be sorry about what went on. Yet I think a part of them is sorry. So do not blame your child and don't give up on their capacity to forgive you. But you have to accept your misconduct in aiding and abetting evil while abandoning truth. There are no shortcuts around incest and what it means.

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over 10 years ago

My sisters and i were all molested by our father. We are all now in our 40's

I have always felt lucky to get out when I did. But it still haunts me to this day. I feel I have lived through this most of the time.

What I need most is trying to find help for my sisters. They are all half crazy. They live the trama over and over every day. I have been married for 29 yrs. Never really happy just glad I was out of there.

But i have excepted my life and choose to stay. I have nevre had any kids don't really know why. Back to my sisters. They can't keep a relationship. Two of them were not able to raise their kids. One overly protected her and now that boy is a mess. They have been to doctor but all I see is they are additicted to drug now don't want to or can't live without them. They have stolen they lie. Make promise's if you help them.

I have helped them giving them money trying to help them get settled in a home. It will last for a shor time. We were raised so ignorant to life. And still can't seem to function the way we should or at least relize simple thing . I get so mad at my self for beliveing in people. And i know they do too. My three sisters are now on disablity the can't cope with every day life. Two are to the point they don't want to live. My father is dead and gone now and yes i'm glad he can't hurt anyone else. I think he even hurt alot of other girls. This abuse was far worst on my sister than me. For some reason i think my father got afraid to bother me. I really didn't know this was happening to them. The older sister never said anyhting to me. Nor i her.

After we got older we relized it happen to us both. But i still never thouhgt it still happen to the younger two. My mother knew this was happening all along i later found out.

My older sister told her. My younger sister told her. I to this day have never really discussed this with my mom. My sisters have. Why didn't she do somthing. Now my sister are driving theirselfs crazy. Please someone help me find help fpr them and me so we can all heel. We are from a poor family and don't have money. Befor it's to late for my sister someone please help. They need a life of stability. hope and happiness. I pray to God every day. To bless my family wiht health and happiness. And lift this curese that is on my family. It's more than just our father that was abuseive, brother uncle seem like it was in any of our relitives home. On boh sides.My mother was abuses too by her father and I'm sure her brothers. She was the only girl out of 11 kids. She is a strong loveing mother but we can't understand why she done nothing.

Please help me save my sisters before it is to late. Every where they have truned has always used and abuse them too. Now it hard for any one to help them beause they do lie so much. Most'ly now to get the drugs they are hooed on.

Sorry this is so long and poor grammer

Any help or advise would be greatly appreciated.

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almost 11 years ago

Ocaso - Survival is a choice...you CAN do this! I am a child abuse survivor and it took me years to overcome all the damage. With determination and the proper tools such as a great counselor, you CAN overcome this. You may save the life of another innocent child by telling his wife...who knows....she may already have seen questionable behavior in him. She most definitely has a right to know BEFORE she gets pregnant. You can come out the other side of this and have a story of healing that can help others just like you! If you don't know God, He is an amazing healer too that can teach you the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. Your brother will never be safe to be around, but you can forgive him in your heart so that you can move on and enjoy life.

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almost 11 years ago

Dear Lora, no matter what-fight for your child! Talk to a pastor (attorneys just want money)and have her start counseling immediately!!! Don't worry about future threats because they will come! My little girl is 12 now. Her dad was molested for years by his best friends dad. I knew about this when we married, but I didn't understand the implications. We too did not have sex. Maybe twice in 5 yrs. We divorced, but he still sees her because he is smart. He shows her his penis in the bathroom, bribes her, and dotes all over her. It is disgusting. I live in Arkansas and here, the authorities will do NOTHING. I got her checked out when she was 8. They said that they could see where she had been abused, but couldn't do anything because she wouldn't talk. The abuse has gone on so long, that she is passive and demonstrative of a learning disability.

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over 8 years ago

I needs some advice. My boyfriend is from another country and he has had a bad past. His family is into incest and he hates it. He says he does, but he also tells me he hates being on the outside of things. He used to tell me stuff in the beginning of our relationship about what goes on but i couldnt comprehend what he was saying because i have never been through that situation. I couldnt fathom people doing that sort of thing. I fell in love with him, and i thought i could help him see that i am a good woman. The thing is that he never trust me. No matter what I do. I have a lot of friends men and women and it drives him crazy. I stoped going out because he felt so insecure, but he can go out because he says he is loyal and that i know he is loyal. So that it does not matter if he goes out. We have been together for three years and He is not a bad guy. The only thing is his insecurities and his past. He tell me that I do the same thing his family does like have incestuous encounters. I dont know where he gets that from. I would never do that. I dont even understand that behavior. He also says that he wants to participate with me and that I am betraying him because i dont let him watch me having encounters with my family. I really dont know where he gets that. I have locked myself in my home due to this and wont go and see anyone just to keep him from thinking this. I have cut ties with family and friends and i am starting to feel so depressed. I really love this guy and I can only think of the good times. That is what keeps me here with him. He is not bad. Just has issues. What do i do? How can i help him see that i am not into that behavior and i dont want anything to do with it. I feel he wants that and I dont know what to do. I lost my virginity to him and have never been with anyone else. I feel betrayed because i gave myself to him, and he is accusing me of this horrible behavior. I am only 27 and this is the man i thought i was going to marry. Now i dont know. He tells me he loves me, but his insecurities are driving me mad. What do i do?

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about 7 years ago

I had been molested for years.From what I can remember till I was ten years old, When I finally came forth and told my parents my father was in the garage but I had said it so loud I thought he would definitly hear most of it. Most of it because when I got to the disgusting part my mother slapped her hand across my face and in a nonmotherly tone said while gritting her teeth responded should your Goddamn mouth. I had just recently tried to tell my close family what had happened. Nobody cared. Dear God forgive them. I was just alittle boy. Thank you for your insight. God bless you, and I mean that God bless you. Wish you people were my family.

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about 10 years ago

When I was 4 or 5, my older brother (who is just 2 1/2 years older) sexually molested me. He was only 7 or 8 at the time. I'm not sure why he did it. I told my mother about it when I was 5, because I felt ashamed. It stopped then. I don't think he ever really forced me to do it. At the time, I saw it as a sort of play, but I felt bad about it afterward. In my case, it wasn't the act itself that troubled me so much as the shame of knowing this happened and I was more or less a willing participant. It's hard to imagine him as a predator when he was so young too. I have never told anyone, but growing up I had no friends. My self confidence was so low that I didn't believe anyone wanted me and I rejected them before they could reject me. I felt I got over it when I went to college and finally had a normal romantic relationship, but even now I struggle to keep friendships, to relate to others. And even though it's hard to blame my 4 year old self for what happened, I still feel so ashamed I can't talk about it.

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over 8 years ago

To all victims of child abuse- incest; please access couselling/ support from a professional if possible.



There is real hope to live fulfilling lives after abuse.



For those who are aware of current abuse that is occuring- please,please report it to authorities or help develop a support/escape plan with the victim.



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almost 8 years ago

The best advice I can suggest to victims of incest is to consider stepping away from the role of "victim" no matter how profound the pain and to pursue spiritual studies (not religious) so that you eventually discover that life is far more than you can imagine and that there are answers to the pain you feel. By committing yourself to helping others in some way you will begin to heal. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Determine to live it well and put the past where it belongs...if it belongs in hell, leave it there and not inside of your heart.

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over 8 years ago

My incest was with an older adopted brother, not much older; I was almost 4 and he would have been 7 or there abouts. When I told the family what he had done a few years ago, they were so supportive until they confronted him. Then they turned. I am back on track with my family and don't hold it against them. They have more than made up for it. Mum died in February and he called me to clear the air, but telling me what a "little s**t" I'd been. Then at the funeral he had the nerve to ask me why I had mental health problems. This article says it all. It is like an auto biography of the life I had. Thankfully with my faith I am getting through, but only last night I did a confession (I am christian) for all the ways my sexuality was screwed up. Thankfully, the 2 guys I confessed to are wonderful. But still it is me who feels the guilt for what I did. He stated boldly he would not feel guilty. I may have very well instigated it with him as I got older, but I only ever wanted closeness, I didn't want the other stuff. And being Christian I have to learn to forgive him. Sometimes I can, but then other times I just think of all the pain that came through it. Does it ever end?

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over 8 years ago

I was a victim of incest by an uncle when I was 6 through 8. My aunt used to babysit me and he was her older son in his 20s back then. I remember him making me play with his penis and perform oral sex. I told my mom but I am not sure if she believed me. She still doesnt say why she didnt do anything about it. I am 30 years old and I still think about this. From junior high to 3 years ago, I was very purmiscuous. I felt good about myself making a guy feel good and usually by performing oral sex. This became a prefence and I felt like it defined who I was. I am not sure I feel depressed but I cant forget it. And I know this is why I aim to please men even if it means disrespecting myself. After I had my son 3 years ago my view has changed and I have never trusted men. I stopped cutting myself and I put on a happy face. I am bulimic and I am never happy with myself, even though people say I am beautiful. This must be the victim inside me.

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over 8 years ago

My first sexual experience was with my sister.I was 11 and she was 13,anyway she gave me my first orgasm and I remember being so scared because I didnt no what was happening.It wasnt a very fun experience,I was actually crying. Ever sence then I felt so horrible about myself and so ashamed that my first time was with my own sister.As I grew older I became so obessed about creating that that feeling again.So I would masturbate constantly at least to 3 to 4 times a day.I dont no if it had to with this experience but I devolped what I now know as social anxiety disorder,which I'm barely now seaking treatment for.I'm 26 now.I haven't had any friends since I was 13 and I have zero friends still and cant trust no one.I finally had my first girlfriend last year and finally lost my virginty for real this time and she me my first kiss.But I got so attached to her because she was my only friend, the only person I had.I would text her constantly and accuse her cheating on me.I would always get mad for the tiniest things.I kept thinking she was using me.Every time I took her home I felt like it was the last time I was gonna see her so I would cry. I was always causing unecessary drama. I told everyone our most intament secrets, and when she found out she finally dumped me. In an attempt for her not to leave me I got her name tattooed on me,she said she would be myfriend but that was it, she stoped texting me as much, so I went on her best friends twitter page and accused her having sex with him. I only had one friend my whole life and I treated her like crap.I cant make friends or relationships with people because of my lack of social skills and anxieties,but when someone actually took a chance with me, I pushed her away with my mood swings and crazy accusations. whats wrong with me please someone help. Was it because of the incest or was it something else.

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almost 7 years ago

I see that this is a huge problem to most posters here, but I'm a bit annoyed by the one-sided reporting of things.

I am an adult man with a 5 years older sister who "molested" me when I was 8-9 years old. And actually, I do not see it as a bad experience.

When alone, we would "play sex" and finger and lick and masturbate each other and even attempt coitus, though I was too young to really accomplish anything there. I found it exhilarating to explore her body, and I did appreciate the dry orgasms I sometimes achieved.

This went on a few times per week while our divorced mother worked night shift for about two years, and then we just sort of stopped gradually. I suppose because my sister reached puberty and lost interest in childs play. We never repeated it since.

I can't see how this has damaged neither of us in any way. We are both well-adjusted, well-educated and well-employed adults with families. I am no sexual deviant in any way, and the only "negative" aspect of all of this would be that both my sister an I get sort of embarrased when the subject of childhood comes up.

So all is not dread and gloom in the realm of incest. My personal theory is that the real damage comes not from the sex, it comes from the aspects of rape, involuntary acts, pain, shame and guilt.

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about 7 years ago

I am 21 and I have always been confused about whether I was molested. My father is a nurse and when I was around 8 he said it was time to start getting vaginal exams. He said it would be easier if he did it then if I went to a gynocologist. He would look at me naked and he showered me. He did penatrate with his finger. My mother was aware of this and that made me confused. I knew deep down this was not happening to my friends. He also would often make me lay naked on the couch and he would rub cream on my vagina with his fingers. I dont know what it was but oddly I think it was diaper cream destin. This went on for a while, and later in my teens both parents denied it and never talked about it again. No one has ever told me for sure this was molestation and I feel confused .

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over 2 years ago

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over 2 years ago

Are you having a hard time searching for a way to get your ex partner back, look no further, this was how i got mine back you can get yours today. My husband and I have been through every top reason for divorce; financial struggles, bankruptcy, stressful jobs, becoming parents when we weren’t ready (neither one of us would give our kids back just the amount of stress is overwhelming) we fought ALL the time over anything and everything. I threatened divorce all the time. One day after a fight I said I was done and filling. He told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore. After a day or two of cooling off I realized that divorce is not what I wanted. No, our marriage was not healthy but we had so much going against us an neither one of us were trying. I begged for him to forgive me and that I didn’t mean it. He told me he loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore. Those words hurt and I believed him.One day i was online for tutorials, as i was browsing i saw a review about a spell caster who could solve my problem, i have heard about spell casting, and magic, i said i should give it a try i contacted the spell caster his name is Dr Ewan of {covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com}, i contacted him and he told me not to worry that all he had to do for me is a love spell, he did it and told me that i should give my husband 48 hours and that he would realize him self, i waited anxiously and one the second day of casting the spell, he came to me and told me he was sorry for the wrong he did to me, he has agreed to send me to school and we are happy. Thank you Dr Ewan you are the best. If you have any marital problem, winning of lottery and many other problems you can contact him on his email, {COVENANTSOLUTIONTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM} or call his mobile number +2347052958531, he is a good and kind man. Thanks. ELIZABETH STRONG LONDON UK

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almost 6 years ago

Today my biological father told me that my sister and I were embarrassments and he was disowning us. We both have not spoken to him in some time. He is selfish, manipulative, and childish. I cannot remember - no matter how hard I try - what occurred between him and myself. But I know in my heart he did something. I acted out in inappropriate ways, had chronic UTIs, a fear of men. As my parents were divorced, when we would visit him, he would only wear a pair of briefs at night and insist we cuddle next to him on the bed. He would make us say things that made me at the time feel uncomfortable, and now I realize how sexually illicit they were. I came to realize he had done something by the nightmares I would have. No 8yr old knows what it feels like to have something inside them in a dream. I could feel it as if it was real. That horrible feeling that makes you want to vomit and scream. The monster in my dreams would always get me no matter how hard I tried to get away. And the harder I tried, the more my body slowed down. It was like I was frozen in time.

My sister sent him an email replying to his initial letter. What brought my attention back to things I try to forget was one small comment she made. "I havent forgotten the things you've done to me". Vague but I knew exactly what she meant the minute I read it. She had never spoken to me about this. Had she suffered like I did?As we talked today, I finally just confessed to her my suspicions. Lo and behold, she had the same experiences. She also felt extremely uncomfortable around him. So much so that she refused to be alone with him in adulthood. The more that we kept talking, the more I remembered the oddities and gag-inducing events. I tried to ask my mother once if she knew if anyone had hurt me. I was too scared to come out and accuse him fully. Ive never had any hard evidence. My mother is my best friend in the world. I saw the look in her eyes as we talked, she was not lying. She denied knowing if anyone hurt me. So I let it go. My sister never told anyone but her fiance in the event she was the only one. Ironically enough, we both thought we were crazy. As a result, she has extreme anxiety issues & I have unadulterated rage, especially towards men. There are just too many coincidences between my sister and I for us to be "crazy". I told him, in my own response, when hes on his deathbed he would regret his actions towards us... that there would be no comfort on earth to ease the burning sorrow. If there is a Hell, he'll be tortured. If not, Im contented to know that he will never touch me again and he never, not once, diminished the great kindness of my soul.

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about 6 years ago

Incest - Effects On Victims

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almost 7 years ago

when i was 10 my brother while i was in bed came into my room and messed with vagina, him and my cousin, would take turns on me, while the other watched, i remember it hurt very bad. my brother was 13 at the time in jr hgh. i dont know if this happened any more times, its kind of like my mind dismissed it from happening,maybe from fear, i brought this upon myself. but at the time of this i didnt have the rage i told no one of this. my brother now claims this was normal brother sister sexually exploration, not incest. couple of yrs after this incident my dad forced me in his lap to kiss him, and when i my breast was maturing he made me go into bedroom with him and try on bra and tweaked my breast. now the same brother is calling that molestation, which he sent a letter out to all relatives telling this so. my first reaction was what did you think you did to me was?. and recently i am finding alot of anger over these acts that happened over 30 yrs agos. i have alot of symptoms that were described, i have the hermit life, no friends, fear of men intensly, anxiety, the whole male anatomy to me is disgusting, ive had the withdrawal, the silence since childhood, terror, vulnerability. and even the suicidal and alcohol tendencies especially in teen yrs couldnt handle the pain, but instead of suicidal tendency it was more like cutting wrist to cause pain to drown out the emotional pain.

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about 7 years ago

When I was 4 years old my brother (then 7) said that his friends had started a secret gang and I could join. I wanted to be part of everything my brother did, I am a gir but always prefered my brother to my sisters. He told me that I couldn't tell anyone about the club but what we were doing was perfectly normal. We had our "meetings" every friday night and through most of saturday because my parents were severe alchoholics and left my bother, my sister (16) and I alone. My sister always went out leaving my brother, his friends and I to our "club." First, all the boys tied me to his bed, they blind folded me and told me to do oral sex. They then would take it in turns to have sex with me. some times one of them would give me anal, one make me give them oral and the other have sex. At first I found it painful but soon accepted it as the normal way of life. My parents soon moved us to a worse part of town, no kids there went to school, so whenever my parents went out my brther would "play" with me. I never left the flat, oncew enduring 7hours of sex by various boys on our block. This went on until I was 7 then I started to say no. My brther went mental at me, hitting me and threatning to kill me. I felt so alone and scared, then one night when I was sleeping my brother came into my bedroom and told me he was sorry and he had a gift for me. The gift was sex with just him and me. I didn't know any better and thought that this was a very special thing. So we began to do it every night. This went on until I was 8 (my brother now 11) but then my brother never came home. I now know he was a drug addict and the area we lived in you never got on the wrong side of a drug dealer because they seemed to know where everyone lived. I lived to my own devises until I was 11, that was when my mum started taking me out with her everynight to dirty clubs and bars; there I was mollested a series of times my many different men and sometimes even women. This went on until I was 15 an I ran away from home. I am now 16 and have had so much counceling and continue to have a lot. I am now living with a wonderful foster mother called Maria who has helped me with my panic attacks and many mental health issies. I am glad to get my experience out into the world.

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about 7 years ago

Response to Worried One-- Google this: Borderline Personality Disorder

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about 7 years ago

I am wondering how it is that a man could incest sodomize his 11 yr old daughter for five years, write a psychology paper on incest, while practicing it, skip bale after being arrested, be rearrested for the original behavior no new offenses, pay a female lawyer in the state of WA to defend himself,in which she made sure he was not known as an offender in the state of WA and only have to do two years of therapy in his own state..

while his wife and four children bore the hardships of eviction, trauma, loss of income from working husband..etc..

This female now sits on the Supreme Court of WA..

I don't understand how this could be

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about 7 years ago

I just broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years. Well actually kinda a mutual break up. I feel sure he and his daughter were having sex.She and her 2 children lived with him.I spoke with 3 different doctors and all said what I was telling them was markers for incest.The only time he would have sex with me was when she had a boyfriend. If she was single he would not touch me.Once I got a bacterial infection and I am 50 never had one never sleep around and confronted him about it and he said maybe it was because he was not circumsised.(sp) I was totally sickened by it because he is well respected around town. I couldn't believe I had gotten in something like this. I got bad vibes from day one when he said he still slept with 10 year old granddaughter. I still feel sick at my stomach.

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over 7 years ago

My first memory of sexual abuse by one of my brothers, (I have 5), was when I was 5. We were moving from Dublin to Birmingham. Beds had been sold and my mother made us sleep head to foot. I was a scared child with a violent mother who called my sister and me "whore" or "Rip". She did not show any love and beat us. I still cringe at being lifted by my hair and slammed against a wall. The boys did nothing for themselves and we were made to clean-up and serve them. I tried to keep out of the way and was called wild. Weekends and holidays, I would disappear from early morning to night. The danger was not out there; it was in my home. The abuse continued for many years. I was raped from 9-11 by my 17-19 year old ginger-haired brother. I am sure my mother knew. I remember, the first time, unable to walk and passing by her in the kitchen, the pain of passing water, my privates like they had been sandpapered. Her look of disgust and silence.

I was 31 and having to live with her after leaving my husband and having my third child. Pictures of my brother-rapist adorned the house and I could not bear the images. What did she say? What did she do? She ranted and raved calling me a filthy, lying, whore, questioning that if it was the truth then why did I not say at the time. Shed tried to scare me into agreeing it had not happene. Years of depression, lack of confidence has plagued me. The whole family were splintered into despising each other, especially me. Lies abound to prevent the truth being accepted. My sister Sheila remains the only one, in her mind, to be raped. Her police action, led to mine, but guess what? The pompous bastard goes free, supported by his wife, who was his girl friend from those days. I feel his aggressive, selfish behaviour has enabled him to flourish financially and build up a socially respected persona whilst I have struggled. Me the victim: He the supreme ... arsehole!

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almost 8 years ago

I HAVE BEEN MOLESTED BY MY FATHER FROM AGE 5 TIL 11. HE NEVER LET ME GO OUTSIDE WITH THE OTHER KIDS AND I HAD TO KEEP MY DOOR OPENED AT ALL TIMES.MT MOM WAS THE WORKER OF THE FAMILY AND SHE WENT TO CHURCH ALOT.SO I WAS LEFT HOME WITH HIM ALOT.HE WILL COME INTO MY ROOM AT NITE AND TOUCH ME IN PRIVATE PLACES.I WILL HIDE IN THE CLOSET,UNDER BEDS,WITH MY LITTLE SISTER AND IN MY BROTHERS ROOM BUT HE WILL ALWAYS FIND ME AND MAKE ME GO IN MY BED SO HE CAN DO WHAT HE WANTED.ONE DAY HE LET ALL MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS OUTSIDE THE ONES THAT WHERE WALKING.TOLD ME TO GO IN THE ROOM AND TAKE OFF MY CLOTHES AND HE GOT ON TOP OF ME AND RUB HIS PRIVATE AROUND IN ME.THAT WAS THE FINAL DRAW FOR ME,I TOLD MY MOM THAT NITE BUT HE TOLD HER THAT I WAS LYING AND LATER THAT NITE HE CAME INTO MY ROOM AGAIN.THE NEXT DAY I TOLD MY 6TH GRADE TEACHER WHAT WAS GOING ON IN MY HOME.SHE TOLD FAMILY WELFARE AND I WAS TAKEN OUT OF THE HOME THAT DAY.I WAS GONE AWAY FROM MY FAMILY FOR 2 YEARS AND MY FATHER WAS PUT INTO JAIL FOR 7 YEARS OF HIS TEN YEARS.HE CAME HOME WHEN I WAS 19 AND I HAD MY FIRST DAUGHTER AT THAT TIME.I WAS FEELED WITH RAGE AND MURDER IN MY SPIRIT.MY MOM NEVER LEFT HIM AND HE TRIED IT WITH ME YOUNGEST SISTER YEARS LATER.I HAD ALOT OF DRAMA IN MY LIFE BUT IM LEARNING TO LET GO AND LET GOD HELP WITH MY FORGIVING HIM.IT'S NOT EASY!!!!!!BUT I NEED TO DO IT FOR THE SAKE OF MY CHILDREN.OTHER MEMBERS OF MY FAMILY DID THINGS TO ME BUT I NEVER TOLD THOSE STORIES.ONE DAY WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT.

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almost 9 years ago

Im actually a victim of incest. my brother did it to me hes two yrs older. i told my bf and he helped me pick a date to tell my parents which will be this Saturday. any ideas on how i should tell my parents. because i have no idea how to start it. at all and i dont know if its the right thing to do because i would feel bad if our family falls apart over this. But then again i can't hold it in much longer I'm 16 and I've been keeping it a secret since i was about 8 or 9. so almost half my life.

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about 9 years ago

I'm not sure what to say. I have just read through all of these and I still have no answers. I have read those who have had a similar experience as me, with their older brother who was 2 years old than them. I am a female. It began when I was in 2nd grade or so, after a few times he would kiss me during hide and go seek when i was sometime younger than 6, he told me he was "practicing", so that was the beginning of me feeling weird. And it was consensual after a while, I feel like everyone else who hasn't been abused has been touched so differently. I don't enjoy sex whatsoever, I can't say no. I am a well respected girl, friends with everyone, then in the past year in college I have slept with 14 or 15 people, half of which I couldn't name because one, it comes out so extreme when I am drinking, I feel the need to be close to anyone and for anyone to want me and two, because I think it's true about the "putting yourself outside of your body" whenever it is going on. I just now read that on this page and thought it really did explain it very well. I think the worst effect on me is that I have always masturbated but I can not masturbate without watching porn and porn that is mostly based on male domination, when males get pleasure by doing sick things to girls. I wonder sometimes if I were really in those situations if I would feel that turned on, but it's hard for me to tell. I want to get help, I really do. I feel like it's an addiction that has changed my thoughts and relationships and sometimes I feel like my worldview and perspective in general is completely twisted or just different from anyone else, like they all think a different way but I'm in this hell of feeling uncomfortable. With my family, who I haven't told because I feel like I would be betraying my brother if I said anything. I can't talk to him about it because I honestly don't want to. Lately I have felt like I need to tell some of my close friends for them to get a better idea as to what is going on with me and why I have become this person every now and then that no one would expect would do these terrible sexual things. I still find everything pretty hard and can never imagine ever being in a serious relationship. And I am very surprised that I actually wrote on this, this is the first time I have really seeked out for group help. So thank you, all of you..

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over 9 years ago

I just broke up with my boyfriend because I believe incest is in his family. So many things led me to believe that so I talked to a therapist who told me the chances of him having incest in his family was 100 percent. Then his sister confirmed she had asked him, my boyfriend, her own brother to have sex with her while they were in high school. She said she was suicidal and mixed up. These two both have teenage daughters that are troubled. One tried to kill herself several times. The other ran away from home, did IV meth drug abuse, ran in gangs, is violent, and is still very dysfunctional. They have other problems in their family, could it all stem from a previous pattern of incest? Like, I know they are not all doing it, but I believed there is a history of it somewhere or these things would not be happened. One daughter was sexually attacked by her stepfather and he did time for it, but was allowed to come back in the house where there are small children. How? I found my boyfriends twenty one year old daughter in our bed after I got up early. They were asleep and thought I had a big problem because they were just sleeping. I told them it wasn't right and to ask their sister. The sister said the only thing they did wrong was "be seen." see, family secrets. This same sister is the one who asked her brother to sleep with her in high school. When I tried to talk more about it and why I was breaking up with him and moving out, she said I seemed to be focusing on the incest. Duh! Did I eve have a chance to have a lsting relationship in a family like that?

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almost 10 years ago

From the age of 9 until 16 I was the victim of my grandfathers' perverted sexual desires. I can remember the first inappropriate touches, and how they graduated into horrific sexual acts. It is amazing how broken I am 17 years after the very first penetration, and how guilty and confused I feel about my role in my own recurring sexual assault. When I talk with my friends I am always anxious to hear the stories of how they lost ther virginity because I feel like I never had one. Relationships are an impossibility due to my sexual malfunctions including constant promiscuity resulting from low self esteem.

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about 10 years ago

At the age of 6 I remember being at home with my mother and her cousin, we were in the kitchen and and my mother was reading the newspaper in the livingroom, my mothers cousin put his fingers inside of me and then my mother walked in. From the age of 6 to 15 my granfather sexually abused me and I had a flash back that he raped me in the shed. He's been dead for 6 years now and I am still f*&ked about what happed to me during those 9 years. Since I have been 16 I have been feeling the abuse all over again and that is when I lost my virginity. I am lost in my personality, I feel angry most of the time, I have low self esteem, lack of confidence, and so on. I lost my smile when I was 16. I used to be smiley until I lost my virginity and I want that smile back. I can't let go of him. He's ruined me and he will never know because he is dead. I go to his grave to talk to him, but it doesn't help. I want to be able to be me, sweet,smiley,innocent,happy , and not that person who is frustrated, and always thinking someone is out to hurt me or even feel real love. How can i let go? I've seen therapists and counselors but it doesn't help. I figured out alot about the abuse and remembered a lot but my low image is still there. I could go on and on about how I feel and how much I would just like to have an opology from him or even contront him face to face. Impossible! Anyways just thought I would share.

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over 10 years ago

I too was a victim . I and my sisters was raped by my father from infancy till teenagers . it was over 30 years ago . I struggled with it all my life,

he disappeared when it all came out and was never seen again until now , some thirty years later.

I would like to make him pay for what he did. he ruined three girls lives and disappeared.

Law enforcement don't seem to care about him or what he did. and thats the real tragedy behind all of our individual stories.

Is there no justice ?

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over 10 years ago

I don't know who Janice is, but I now know for sure that I should never had tried to look for help. i had contacted RAIN but I actually would have to talk on the phone to someone and I know I can't actually say the words out loud. Obviously, I tried to get help from the wrong place.

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about 7 years ago

When I was 4 years old my brother (then 7) said that his friends had started a secret gang and I could join. I wanted to be part of everything my brother did, I am a gir but always prefered my brother to my sisters. He told me that I couldn't tell anyone about the club but what we were doing was perfectly normal. We had our "meetings" every friday night and through most of saturday because my parents were severe alchoholics and left my bother, my sister (16) and I alone. My sister always went out leaving my brother, his friends and I to our "club." First, all the boys tied me to his bed, they blind folded me and told me to do oral sex. They then would take it in turns to have sex with me. some times one of them would give me anal, one make me give them oral and the other have sex. At first I found it painful but soon accepted it as the normal way of life. My parents soon moved us to a worse part of town, no kids there went to school, so whenever my parents went out my brther would "play" with me. I never left the flat, oncew enduring 7hours of sex by various boys on our block. This went on until I was 7 then I started to say no. My brther went mental at me, hitting me and threatning to kill me. I felt so alone and scared, then one night when I was sleeping my brother came into my bedroom and told me he was sorry and he had a gift for me. The gift was sex with just him and me. I didn't know any better and thought that this was a very special thing. So we began to do it every night. This went on until I was 8 (my brother now 11) but then my brother never came home. I now know he was a drug addict and the area we lived in you never got on the wrong side of a drug dealer because they seemed to know where everyone lived. I lived to my own devises until I was 11, that was when my mum started taking me out with her everynight to dirty clubs and bars; there I was mollested a series of times my many different men and sometimes even women. This went on until I was 15 an I ran away from home. I am now 16 and have had so much counceling and continue to have a lot. I am now living with a wonderful foster mother called Maria who has helped me with my panic attacks and many mental health issies. I am glad to get my experience out into the world.

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about 7 years ago

Reply to Chantons L'amour - I did know it was wrong and hated every minute of it but just wanted the stuffed animals he had. The fallacies of having only an 9 year old brain. He was 14 years old at the time. He knew what he was doing and I really did not think past the moment on how much it was going to shake up my future and every time I am in counseling, something leads back to that and I hate him for that. I don't love him anymore and don't plan on talking to him anymore about it. Every time I have in the past, he has blown me off, not taken it seriously. He has never gone to counseling for it and when I gave him the chance to talk to our family first, he tried to call my bluff. Getting it out in the open only lightened the load on my shoulders but as you said messed me up psychologically. I will probably forever struggle with low self-esteem, problems understanding/dealing with male adults and their addictions to porn and disrespecting women and people who attack other people's feelings and experiences as if they have the right to tell another how they should feel about something. My brother's whole reason for wanting to do that to me was not because he was horny but because a song told him to do it.

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about 8 years ago

I am married to a woman who may be part of an incestuous family. Sh is from the East, where things like that are common, with shared beds, touching, etc. It hurts me though, and I dont want our 2-yr old daughter to be subjected to these things by my wife's family. We are both Christians but I think her entire community is brainwashed in wrong interpretations of 'freedom'. They are highly secretive and constantly lie and deny any attempts I make to open discussions. I dont think my wife is going to repent, and I am unsure if I have enough evidence to leave her. My biggest fear is for our child, I dont want her to be corrupted as well, and the danger is she may already have been exposed to these things while they were on holiday in my wife's home country... my daughter sometimes says 'touch?' and often places her feet in my genital area, leading me to conclude she was indoctrinated for a time at my wife's family's home. Please pray for us and send any advice you might share.

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almost 10 years ago

in 2005 my 9 year old daughter came to me saying her dad molested her i was shocked believe me my daughter was around this girl who was 2 years older then her the only girl that she played with because we lived in the country she said she was raped by her cousin she lied about it for attention i found out she had alot of issues so i kept my daughter away from her a few months later she was calling talking to my daughter and then my daughter said her dad molested her and her friend the one i was keeping her away from i reported it and my daughters dad admited to doing this to both of them after3 hours of being at the police station i always believed my daughter why would she say this about her own dad if he did not do this i just have a werid feeling in the pit of my stomach about this my daughter dad is in jail for30 yearsthere was no evidence at all not thats saying nothing happened but i feel like this girl manipulated my daughter in some sick way i do not know i always will believe my daughter she really misses her dad she says stuff like he never did this and then she just acts funny and laughs about it

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almost 10 years ago

when i was a little girl i was molested several times by several different people. sometimes by men, sometimes by boys who weren't much older than myself. i grew up hating myself and pushing everyone away. now i am in my late 20's and suffer from multiple fears. when i have sexual fantasies they include my dad, how sick is that. i am actually attracted to my dad, i feel so dirty all the time and especially when i masterbate. when will it ever go away.

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about 10 years ago

I found out my 14 year old cousin has been sexually abused by her father for 4 years.



We come from a close-knit & religious community & had a family conference yesterday. I wanted to report my uncle to the authorities, but my family & our parish priest were against this idea because they do not want my uncle to go to jail and do not want to traumatize the child.



Instead they have taken her out of the house and she's staying with my aunt who is a nurse. He apparenlty has confessed his "sin" and claimed he will no longer do it again. Despite this, our family does not want her in the same house as him.



Part of me still feels like we need to report this to the police & she needs to get the proper counseling which our family & church can't give to her.



However, I know how the legal system is in this country...she & her brother will be sent to foster homes and might end up running away, doing drugs, or worse...kill themselves.



As victims, what do you all think is the best solution. can counseling help or make it worse? is sending her dad to jail the best solution?



Both children are emotionally & physically abused. Her 15 year old brother is often beaten by his dad. The girl by her physically by her mom & sexually by her dad. Also, their mother is manic depressive and b/c it's genetic, both will most likely become manic.



However, hitting a child is normal in our "community" and if any of us report it then we are ostercized. Though, my family does admit the sexual abuse is wrong & needs to stop, but I don't feel that she's getting the needed help.



I'm alone in my thinking, and my mom has threatened to disown me if I send her brother to jail.



What's the best thing for this child? Keeping her safe in my aunt's house away from her dad, but not sending him to prison? Or reporting it & having authorities place her & her brother in foster homes with other troubled teens?

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almost 11 years ago

I am in need of anyone help that can help me. I have a daughter of age 8 years old and I notice that her, and her father have what I thought of a strange relationship,he paid too much attendition to her. MY husband and I had no sexual relationship. I wanted one but he continue to reject me. Howerver, I found him late one night jacking off" calling my 8 years old daughter name. I confront him, but he says I am crazy "he didn't " do it. I ask my daughter, if he touch her, she said no. I had her check by a doctor, but no sign that she had sex.

I have report this to child protecting but they said, nothing they could do, because she wasn't touch. I have file for a divorce, but he will still have right to see her. what can, I do to protect her, from him.

(also, I feel that there is a secert language that is between them, did any of you experience this. Please help me if you can.



A mother need your help in the behavior of father's sick in the head.

Please help me.



Lora

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about 8 years ago

I am devastated , i need advise on what to do and say to my 9 and 12 year old never would I have thought this could happen to our family, we go on trips we try to do family things when their dad is not working 80 hours aweek. how do we live our lifes now or get back to being normal I trusted my two adorable kids to much, I caught them exploring, they are very humilated and had crying breakdown, I take them every where with me to the park hiking swimming, where did I go wrong. They are the light of my life. they stated this was only the 2nd time they done this, this is wrong. I don't know who to talk with, this is something you don't want people to know, I am hoping they are so humiliated they will never do this again. Any advise.

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over 7 years ago

I was raped by my brother when I was 13, it was a one time thing that I haven't ever told anyone about. My family went to my cousin's funeral and to cut costs my parents only rented 1 hotel room, meaning it only had 2 beds. My parents went out drinking, as usual, and I tried to fall asleep but ended up just laying in the bed. My 16 year old brother raped me in the bum that night, and we've never spoken of it since. I'm petrified to tell anyone and the next day i even hid the bloody sheets. I can never tell anyone because I know they won't believe me as my brother is a straight A student and captain of the debate team, aka not your typical rappist. My parents are drunks who strongly favor my brother so I know I can tell them...I'm 14 now and I'm stuck with no idea how to begin to heal.

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about 7 years ago

lol,,,,,its funny when people get all fucked up in the head because of incest. clowns

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over 9 years ago

I'm the mother of 2 victim daughters, both now adults, by my husband. I'm torn between circumstances, because both cases are he said, she said. No charges were ever filed when he was investigated. We were extremely poor, both paychecks were necessary to pay rent on our apt, car payments, bills, & groceries.
My husband never admitted he did anything, to me nor the CPS reps, nor the police. Had I the money at each time, I'd have divorced him. But I didn't, because I had no solid proof, and so I elected to stay with him, as I was deeply in love with him from day one. What are the choices when you're poor. One parent can't be there, you can't afford someone to watch them, I never got support, either from his family or mine. County and state programs were inadequate, and the advice of the counselors to whom we were sent was no better than my neighbors' and friends' advice.
My only choice was: destroy our family with a divorce, the law enforcement process(which is HIGHLY traumatic to go through) and enrolling in welfare, which was very poor in Arizona; OR, stay with the man I loved whom my daughters accused, and try our best to help them cope, and watch them self-destruct that way. There is no hope for families enmeshed in incest, because the whole she-bang is geared to remove everyone from support of friends and family, from good therapy, and safe housing, if your family is poor.
The only way my husband would have gotten ANY counseling AT ALL for FREE or sliding-scale, would have required charges filed, a trial, and the judge ordering psychiatric counseling. None of that occurred.
But if it had, it would have driven me over the edge, CPS would have removed my children into foster homes, where it's a virtual roulette wheel of what kind of people would take them in: either good kind people who really help children in traumatic situations, or people who are in the foster program for the money. And in Arizona, it was more of the latter than the former.

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almost 7 years ago

hi i was wondering me and my sister engaged in sex from the ages of six till twelve we are two years apart my sis used to flash me and it went on from there oral and finaly sexual intercourse when she said no i would stop when she flashed me and i touched her and she enjoyed i would go on we were children exploring each others sexuality one day she said to me i will make you pay for this one day and she was an advanced girl not a virgin at six when i started playing with her molestation i cannot say that this is molestation these people who are blaming their brothers when they are only two years apart we are only children learning the pleasures of sex i did not molest you we exprienced a pleasure together why am i being blamed for somthing we both enjoyed

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about 7 years ago

I am the mother of two girls that are women now. One is manic and the other depress. They have stages that they to through every year and they are getting worse. Both were married and divorce. Their husband left them because of the illness. I was also married to a man that was manic and I know how hard it is to deal with them. The doctor just don't care anymore and since it is with Kiser they are tried of her getting sick. I feel for them, but I am also tried of them. It is a battle for me. I want to get away from them. I just get sick of seeing them get sick and not been able to control them. The meds they get are killing them slowly. I know what I just read that it is true and I wish I had read it before. It would have help me. Thanks for the wonderful information...Tomasa

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over 7 years ago

I was also a victim of sibling incest. it all started when i was a 9 yr. old girl, and my brother is a 12 yrs. old, he touches my vagina whenever im asleep and i wake up and he pretends he did'nt do anything, and when he did it again and i finally caught him, he return immediatly to his bed and i said "stop pretending so inocent you PERVERTED DEVIL! you've been touchig it and pretending you did'nt do anything!" after that he said "i did'nt do anything, i was sleeping" and i got up and go running to my mom while saying to my brother "Im gonna tell mom what you did!!!" and my brother goes after me and tells me to stop, but i did'nt stop and told my mom! my mom got really mad and confronted my brother, and my brother was real ashamed of it,my hole family knows about his perverted ways, he even does that to maids! me and my eldest brother hold a grudge against him(hmph! and teachers say forgive and forget but its not that easy!)the only non-relative people who knows about this is my two bestfriends, c---e says my brother is ugly and always looks at her with despise and c---a says his a pervert! one time on the phone when i was talking to her my brother took the phone and said something offending to her,many people hates him and hold a grudge on him, including me! and for what he have done.the effect on me was Having flashbacks,self-blaming,despises own body,wants to commit suicide(But i can't,ill go to hell).this things still haunts me inside, and the only thing that can heal this if my perverted brother dies,murdered,got into an accident, or anything that i can think of that will be able to make me feel better or to kill him,i mean like i can't kill him or send someone to kill him, i dont want to live in hell! so thats how a hell of a life this is!

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about 7 years ago

well me and my step sister have same mom but differnt dads.and well im with her uncle from her side.but i did not think about it. and well we are going to get married.and we might have take blood test to see if we are closely related.but im scared they might take are kids away.if we related.help me figure it out

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over 10 years ago

nice try janice! It was great to see your spelling get progressively worse in your story. Can't spell worse, but can spell appreciate. Pull your scam someplace else.

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almost 6 years ago

To every one who has posted about their experience, thank you. It helps knowing that one am not alone. I grow up in an unstable home, where my mother would bring up different men pretty much every night of the week and have sex with them in our living room or just in front of us. So sex to me, even thought I did not fully understand it, was normal. I was the youngest female of two older siblings. When I was in the first grade or so, my brother who is two years older then myself asked me one day while we where playing in his closet if he could watch me pee right were I was. I instantly felt scared,looked at him weirdly, and told him No. He then grab me, tickled me so hared it hurt, asked me again and I said no. Holding tightly he tried to pull off my clothes. But I struggled and got away from him and ran as fast as I could. I tried to avoid being alone with him from that day on. However kept asking me if he could see me naked and touch me when ever he got the chance. Finally, I ether gave in or he forced me I don't remember. Thus he began to molest me and eventually one day he tried to have sex with me. However it hurt so I started to cry and asked him to stop so he did. After that every time that he came to me I use to pretend that my soul was not in my body. I would close my eyes and pretended that I was in another place like at the park which helped me. During all of this, he told me not to tell any one or else we would get in trouble so I told no one. He also began acting like my father during this oddly. Then when I was nine Children's aid took us away and all three of us went to live in foster care for ever. By then I hated my brother. However slowly over the years, my brother and I have become better since we then. I lived with him shortly last year and he actually apologies for what happened when we were little. Although he is struggling with substance abuse, and finding his place in this world, he is trying to better himself. He just came to me like a few days ago and admitted that he is gay which was shocking! But good that he came out and told us. As for moi, I am 21 years old and trying to heal. I know that it is a long journey to recovery but it is possible! Take it slowly and get support!

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over 6 years ago

I always thought I was alone till I read these stories. my older brother started molesting me in first grade till I was in fourth. I am now 18 and he is 24. when I was in seventh grade he molested our younger cousin. I feel so guilty. if I had said something she wouldn't have had to go theo it. my mom knows but she acts like it didn't happen. and the messed up thing is she was molested by her step dad. when she found out she did nothing. now my brother has an 18 year old girlfriend. she has curly hair - I have curly hair. shes putting rican and so am i. shes heavy and so am I. my mother is always saying her and I are so alike. we were even born in the same month. is this weird or am I over thinking?

this stuff fucks you up. I am so fucked up. the first time I tried to kill myself was 4 th grade. fourth graders shouldn't know about death. these comments give me hope and make me sad. I want a family and kids. I don't want to be alone. I want to trust. I don't want to be a victim. I cant change what happened but I can learn and be strong. I am strong. I'm a fighter. I want to help.other girls like me.

if your being abused you are not alone. please don't give up hope. tell someone till they listen!!! never give up. there is good out there. if you need help email me at kramos777@Yahoo.com

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over 6 years ago

is it true?? i heard on the news that web feet is caused by incest??

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over 6 years ago

is it true?? i heard on the news that web feet is caused by incest??

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over 6 years ago

bisexuality in the family is normal uncles nephews brothers sisters if its not forced so what
my son was 12 when he went oral on his friend

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about 7 years ago

Incest - Effects On Victims

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about 9 years ago

Today my youger sister and I had a huge argument. Part of which I believe was due to the fact that she was sexually abused four months ago by our first cousin who is 5 years her senior. It was the third time she has been assaulted, by three different men. One a teacher, the other a boyfriend, and now our own family. I put off going to school so could take care of her and provide a safe, and new environment for us to live. But now her behavior has begun to become self destructive, and she parties for days on end, and refuses to slow down. After her binges she then has "melt downs" and the cycle only repeats itself. I know this kind of behavior is typical for victims, but im so scared for her, and I dont know how to get her to talk to someone. She has so much anger at times, im afraid im going to lose my only sister. If you have any advice, or referalls, anything is worth trying.

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almost 10 years ago

I was 'introduced' to sex at the age of 9 by my elder sister 4 years my senior. It wasn't forced, but I remember she had to coerce me into the act. I remember enjoying part of it, but I also remember not wanting to do it at all. I also remember telling her 'no' at least once or twice. I was also persuaded into sex by my older step-cousin (step-mother's niece). I was also coerced into sex by my older male step-cousin several times. This included rubbing his penis into my crack until he came. I let him do it, but I remember disliking it. I was of the age of 9, 10, 11 and 12 when all this took place.

Today, at 41, I guess I could be considered a sex pervert. It's developed to the point where I watch porn every day while masturbating and fantasizing about sex with older women and family members. This totals about 4 - 5 hours of my day. (let's not forget the drugs and alcohol I consume during the entire process)

I look at women as sex objects and get aroused just walking down the street looking at girls/women. I've developed a desire for being with older women. Most of my girlfriends have been at least 8 years my senior. One is 15 years older than I am. What's up with that?? It's not that I don't like younger females, I just seem to always get with older ones.

I feel uncomfortable in company sometimes, always feel like i'm trying to be someone i'm not, and get the feeling that people can see who i really am so I try to avoid eye contact for much of the time.

Most people consider me a to be a nice person who goes out of his way for others. (true).

Others consider me to be rude and slightly perverted.(people at work). As a result, I find it difficult to keep a job and to keep the people I work with liking me. I usually get laid off, or fired for other reasons such as absenteeism, (staying home to jack off)... etc.

I've pretty much accepted the fact that I'm a sexual pervert who needs sexual gratification often so I've begun to sell sex for money. It's been about 2 years or so that I've been working as an escort. I guess I enjoy it, the people I get with enjoy me, so I guess I'm doing a good thing.

I'm just making lemonade as they say...
(you know.. if life throws you lemons?)

Obviously, there is something wrong upstairs. I've realized this a long time ago.. but unfortunately have no idea how to go about fixing it. I've tried counseling, but that's useless.

To make matters worse, after disclosing what I do for part time work to my older sister (and explaining to her that it might be due to my childhood), she denies that any of what I've said is true so now we're not talking to each other as a result.

So, now... I dunno. Just thought I'd share. You people reading this are the only ones who know how I live.. thanks for listening..

T.

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almost 10 years ago

My husband and I separated a year ago - we had been the 'ideal' family - happy, churchgoing, hospitable, everyone's favourite people. So everyone was shocked and the blame fell on me because my husband is the nicest person you could ever hope to meet.



Many things led up to us parting - I felt from the beginning of my relationship with him at 17, that his family always came first. More and more through our marriage of 24 years, I felt like I had four children and not just the three I had given birth to. My husband depended on me to an unbearable extent - he expected me to handle all the finances, make all the family decisions, do all the organising of everything. When I spoke up, he would just avoid issues, look terribly hurt and nothing would change. He leaned on me and seemed incapable of leading. For many years he drank heavily and then gave that up overnight and got very involved in the church. He said "God would provide" and wouldn't take control. He was nice to our kids but wasn't able to really connect with them. Stuff would break in the house and he just wouldn't fix anything, it just got harder and harder.



I then got involved with someone, didn't want it to happen but was so lonely.



When I said I was leaving, he was terribly shocked. That's when he told me that his aunts had had sex with him for a period of over a year when he was 10 or 11 and then his mother had ordered him to have sex with her when he was 14 or 15. She called him in the next day and said he was now a "motherf****r. He was absolutely terrified that his father would find out and kill him. On some level his father did know because he beat him mercilessly for the smallest excuse. My husband said that he blocked out the memories and when they surfaced at the age of about 36, the pastor ordered him not to tell me and he complied. But in the ensuing years he had suffered from depression, low-self esteem and as a family we have all borne the weight of this without ever knowing why.



So I am shattered - I sense in him a disintegration of some kind. He dismisses the abuse by his mum as being of no account, an isolated incident that happened so long ago.He has protected her all these years. The hard part for me is that we lived next door to his parents for 20 years and my children were exposed to a paedeophile every day we were there and I had no way of knowing that I should have been protecting them against their very sweet, chuchgoing grandmother who was regarded as a saint by the whole community.



Incest has devastated my family but there is no sense of outrage from my husband. I just don't know what to do.

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almost 10 years ago

aftersilence.org is a wonderful and helpful resource. you will get feedback from others with similar situations.

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about 10 years ago

When I was 11, my cousin was staying with us. He sexually harrassed me. At the time, I didn't really know what was going on. One night he came into my room, and starting molesting me. This continued for at least 2 years until i told my housekeeper what was happening. He threatened to kill me if i told anyone. My parents kicked him out when they found out about it. Up to this day, I cannot talk about it. As a result, i'm afraid to get too close to any guy now because i do not want a repitition of my cousin so much that i'm starting to lean more to girls. I'm keeping away from relationships with guys, but i've had girlfriends. Is this okay?

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5 days ago

I am a molester. Anyone of a hundred of these comments could have been about me. 50 years ago, I was 12, my sister 6. At night I would go into her room and molest her. ( I am not sure if I raped her at some point). This went on for about 2 years. My parents would go out on Saturday nite and I would babysit.

I really had no idea what I was doing. Did I know it was wrong?, yes. I was a messed up kid, I had no friends, no social skills, I started seeing school social workers once a week starting in 3rd grade.

My sister finally told our mother about 30 years ago. I have not seen either of my sisters in all this time.

I having been working with students, my entire professional career. I have worked with, supervised, and taught many female students over the years. I have never inappropriately touched anyone else or have been accused of inappropriate behavior.

I am trying to make amends for what I did. I have apologized and went to a joint counseling session (30 years ago). I am trying to reconcile with some part of my family.

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about 1 year ago

My sexual journey started when I was 10 or 11 years old. My parents lived separately in two adjacent towns. I took turns staying with each of them on alternate weekends,. Even at that. Early age I felt like I was a burden.
My father would take me to a nearby stream for fishing. One day I saw him urinating in the bushes and he saw me watching him. He came over and said I should take a good look at it as it was very large. That is when it all began. On subsequent weeks he advanced to force me to satisfy him orally. He said this is what men do and it was our secret.

I was scared stiff, I knew each weekend what to expect. In school I was always afraid someone knew. whenever a messenger came to give the teacher a note, I thought it was about me. It is still on my mind even today.

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over 1 year ago

This is great! I thought the article alone was great and now to read all the comments from victims that help me to understand and are case studies. I too am a survivor of childhood sexual violence so as I read the comments I'm gaining understanding and realizing how common this disease really is. And the reason is because it's done in secret and kept in secret. The way I was able to heal was through a 12-step program which gave me the tools to learn to deal with it and move forward. It wasn't easy. But I went from having trust issues and low self-esteem and shame to being set free and healed. I went from breaking out in a cold sweat when talking to males to now leading groups and working with victims and perpetrators. The 12-Step program I'm involved in is called Celebrate Recovery... www.celebraterecovery.com

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almost 2 years ago

I was molested by both my brothers. I don't hate them, I love htem. Not in a romantic way but in a brother way. Its been years,but I still haven't forgiven them.I don't hat them, but I can't forgive them. Is it wrong? I am too nice. I am too sensitive. I just don't know. I'm such an abomination

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over 2 years ago

I left home at the age of 15
i was used and abused 8-14
by Clinton Jim Gary,
My whole entire family was so dysfunctional, I just gave up on my grades, my family and my mother Elizabeth, whom seemed to be the ringleader of telling me I'm No Good.
So from the age of 15 to 58
I never looked back at my family.
my father knew nothing of all this.
I finished high school and some College/credit courses
I can not hold a job, forget marriage,and the rest of my life well, I even struggling with "why"
How could they have done this to their youngest sister, I always felt that my older sister was Raped too..but the web we weave in our lives..I'm still trying to find "me"
So I will Never Honor my MOTHER simply because she is NOT HONORABLE.
(both parents are deceased).
I took it upon myself, to go silent
and get away from from everyone..
for the last 44 years..
I have had Numerous talks with God
of just find my way through life,
Still do, I at a happier place with my tormented soul of what family members can do to you and destroy you..or if you tell I will Kill you just to control you..
I have asked for "FORGIVENESS" for myself..and I know I will never be Normal what ever that means?
But I have given my whole life and education/learning and much much reading and understanding of what I LIVE THROUGH IN MY EARLY YEARS..
SIMPLY GAVE IT TO GOD..
god is my TRUE inspiration of why I'm still in this life,,,,,
and like all the one before me..
Forgive yourself, then others
Love God, do Good, help others..
God Only cares about Your Soul of this life! and I never wish to come back to this Negative Planet again
I highly feel I have learn my lessons of this life, and I'm making it my point to enjoy myself for the rest of years here...
I have place all of those Memories to Rest with God help..in return only giving God my Love & Gratitude every day and through my day..
Do NOT ever give the abuse of the past any power.You have the Power to suppress and release the EGO and the Memories to God,
Give God all your worries..
I can only change me.
No one can hurt me now, NO One..

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over 2 years ago


I was Looking for Spells to Stop My Divorce and Save My Marriage, so I requested a spell for love from manifestspellcast@yahoo.com last week. Well, happily I can say today I am living a happy married life and also my marriage life is restored. Manifest Spell Saved My Marriage. my husband is now loving me like crazy and I'm loving it! We are now trying to get some little ones to our family to show our never ending love for each other. his love spells have done wonders in my life. if you have search for a powerful spell caster to restore relationship and they have all failed you then i will advise you to run to this spell caster Dr.Manifest,

Madeline DUANE.

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over 2 years ago

Are you having a hard time searching for a way to get your ex partner back, look no further, this was how i got mine back you can get yours today. My husband and I have been through every top reason for divorce; financial struggles, bankruptcy, stressful jobs, becoming parents when we weren’t ready (neither one of us would give our kids back just the amount of stress is overwhelming) we fought ALL the time over anything and everything. I threatened divorce all the time. One day after a fight I said I was done and filling. He told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore. After a day or two of cooling off I realized that divorce is not what I wanted. No, our marriage was not healthy but we had so much going against us an neither one of us were trying. I begged for him to forgive me and that I didn’t mean it. He told me he loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore. Those words hurt and I believed him.One day i was online for tutorials, as i was browsing i saw a review about a spell caster who could solve my problem, i have heard about spell casting, and magic, i said i should give it a try i contacted the spell caster his name is Dr Ewan of {covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com}, i contacted him and he told me not to worry that all he had to do for me is a love spell, he did it and told me that i should give my husband 48 hours and that he would realize him self, i waited anxiously and one the second day of casting the spell, he came to me and told me he was sorry for the wrong he did to me, he has agreed to send me to school and we are happy. Thank you Dr Ewan you are the best. If you have any marital problem, winning of lottery and many other problems you can contact him on his email, {COVENANTSOLUTIONTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM} or call his mobile number +2347052958531, he is a good and kind man. Thanks. ELIZABETH STRONG LONDON UK

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over 2 years ago

Are you having a hard time searching for a way to get your ex partner back, look no further, this was how i got mine back you can get yours today. My husband and I have been through every top reason for divorce; financial struggles, bankruptcy, stressful jobs, becoming parents when we weren’t ready (neither one of us would give our kids back just the amount of stress is overwhelming) we fought ALL the time over anything and everything. I threatened divorce all the time. One day after a fight I said I was done and filling. He told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore. After a day or two of cooling off I realized that divorce is not what I wanted. No, our marriage was not healthy but we had so much going against us an neither one of us were trying. I begged for him to forgive me and that I didn’t mean it. He told me he loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore. Those words hurt and I believed him.One day i was online for tutorials, as i was browsing i saw a review about a spell caster who could solve my problem, i have heard about spell casting, and magic, i said i should give it a try i contacted the spell caster his name is Dr Ewan of {covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com}, i contacted him and he told me not to worry that all he had to do for me is a love spell, he did it and told me that i should give my husband 48 hours and that he would realize him self, i waited anxiously and one the second day of casting the spell, he came to me and told me he was sorry for the wrong he did to me, he has agreed to send me to school and we are happy. Thank you Dr Ewan you are the best. If you have any marital problem, winning of lottery and many other problems you can contact him on his email, {COVENANTSOLUTIONTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM} or call his mobile number +2347052958531, he is a good and kind man. Thanks. ELIZABETH STRONG LONDON UK

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over 2 years ago

Are you having a hard time searching for a way to get your ex partner back, look no further, this was how i got mine back you can get yours today. My husband and I have been through every top reason for divorce; financial struggles, bankruptcy, stressful jobs, becoming parents when we weren’t ready (neither one of us would give our kids back just the amount of stress is overwhelming) we fought ALL the time over anything and everything. I threatened divorce all the time. One day after a fight I said I was done and filling. He told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore. After a day or two of cooling off I realized that divorce is not what I wanted. No, our marriage was not healthy but we had so much going against us an neither one of us were trying. I begged for him to forgive me and that I didn’t mean it. He told me he loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore. Those words hurt and I believed him.One day i was online for tutorials, as i was browsing i saw a review about a spell caster who could solve my problem, i have heard about spell casting, and magic, i said i should give it a try i contacted the spell caster his name is Dr Ewan of {covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com}, i contacted him and he told me not to worry that all he had to do for me is a love spell, he did it and told me that i should give my husband 48 hours and that he would realize him self, i waited anxiously and one the second day of casting the spell, he came to me and told me he was sorry for the wrong he did to me, he has agreed to send me to school and we are happy. Thank you Dr Ewan you are the best. If you have any marital problem, winning of lottery and many other problems you can contact him on his email, {COVENANTSOLUTIONTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM} or call his mobile number +2347052958531, he is a good and kind man. Thanks. ELIZABETH STRONG LONDON UK

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over 2 years ago

Are you having a hard time searching for a way to get your ex partner back, look no further, this was how i got mine back you can get yours today. My husband and I have been through every top reason for divorce; financial struggles, bankruptcy, stressful jobs, becoming parents when we weren’t ready (neither one of us would give our kids back just the amount of stress is overwhelming) we fought ALL the time over anything and everything. I threatened divorce all the time. One day after a fight I said I was done and filling. He told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore. After a day or two of cooling off I realized that divorce is not what I wanted. No, our marriage was not healthy but we had so much going against us an neither one of us were trying. I begged for him to forgive me and that I didn’t mean it. He told me he loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore. Those words hurt and I believed him.One day i was online for tutorials, as i was browsing i saw a review about a spell caster who could solve my problem, i have heard about spell casting, and magic, i said i should give it a try i contacted the spell caster his name is Dr Ewan of {covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com}, i contacted him and he told me not to worry that all he had to do for me is a love spell, he did it and told me that i should give my husband 48 hours and that he would realize him self, i waited anxiously and one the second day of casting the spell, he came to me and told me he was sorry for the wrong he did to me, he has agreed to send me to school and we are happy. Thank you Dr Ewan you are the best. If you have any marital problem, winning of lottery and many other problems you can contact him on his email, {COVENANTSOLUTIONTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM} or call his mobile number +2347052958531, he is a good and kind man. Thanks. ELIZABETH STRONG LONDON UK

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over 2 years ago

Are you having a hard time searching for a way to get your ex partner back, look no further, this was how i got mine back you can get yours today. My husband and I have been through every top reason for divorce; financial struggles, bankruptcy, stressful jobs, becoming parents when we weren’t ready (neither one of us would give our kids back just the amount of stress is overwhelming) we fought ALL the time over anything and everything. I threatened divorce all the time. One day after a fight I said I was done and filling. He told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore. After a day or two of cooling off I realized that divorce is not what I wanted. No, our marriage was not healthy but we had so much going against us an neither one of us were trying. I begged for him to forgive me and that I didn’t mean it. He told me he loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore. Those words hurt and I believed him.One day i was online for tutorials, as i was browsing i saw a review about a spell caster who could solve my problem, i have heard about spell casting, and magic, i said i should give it a try i contacted the spell caster his name is Dr Ewan of {covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com}, i contacted him and he told me not to worry that all he had to do for me is a love spell, he did it and told me that i should give my husband 48 hours and that he would realize him self, i waited anxiously and one the second day of casting the spell, he came to me and told me he was sorry for the wrong he did to me, he has agreed to send me to school and we are happy. Thank you Dr Ewan you are the best. If you have any marital problem, winning of lottery and many other problems you can contact him on his email, {COVENANTSOLUTIONTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM} or call his mobile number +2347052958531, he is a good and kind man. Thanks. ELIZABETH STRONG LONDON UK

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over 2 years ago

Are you having a hard time searching for a way to get your ex partner back, look no further, this was how i got mine back you can get yours today. My husband and I have been through every top reason for divorce; financial struggles, bankruptcy, stressful jobs, becoming parents when we weren’t ready (neither one of us would give our kids back just the amount of stress is overwhelming) we fought ALL the time over anything and everything. I threatened divorce all the time. One day after a fight I said I was done and filling. He told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore. After a day or two of cooling off I realized that divorce is not what I wanted. No, our marriage was not healthy but we had so much going against us an neither one of us were trying. I begged for him to forgive me and that I didn’t mean it. He told me he loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore. Those words hurt and I believed him.One day i was online for tutorials, as i was browsing i saw a review about a spell caster who could solve my problem, i have heard about spell casting, and magic, i said i should give it a try i contacted the spell caster his name is Dr Ewan of {covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com}, i contacted him and he told me not to worry that all he had to do for me is a love spell, he did it and told me that i should give my husband 48 hours and that he would realize him self, i waited anxiously and one the second day of casting the spell, he came to me and told me he was sorry for the wrong he did to me, he has agreed to send me to school and we are happy. Thank you Dr Ewan you are the best. If you have any marital problem, winning of lottery and many other problems you can contact him on his email, {COVENANTSOLUTIONTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM} or call his mobile number +2347052958531, he is a good and kind man. Thanks. ELIZABETH STRONG LONDON UK

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over 2 years ago

Are you having a hard time searching for a way to get your ex partner back, look no further, this was how i got mine back you can get yours today. My husband and I have been through every top reason for divorce; financial struggles, bankruptcy, stressful jobs, becoming parents when we weren’t ready (neither one of us would give our kids back just the amount of stress is overwhelming) we fought ALL the time over anything and everything. I threatened divorce all the time. One day after a fight I said I was done and filling. He told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore. After a day or two of cooling off I realized that divorce is not what I wanted. No, our marriage was not healthy but we had so much going against us an neither one of us were trying. I begged for him to forgive me and that I didn’t mean it. He told me he loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore. Those words hurt and I believed him.One day i was online for tutorials, as i was browsing i saw a review about a spell caster who could solve my problem, i have heard about spell casting, and magic, i said i should give it a try i contacted the spell caster his name is Dr Ewan of {covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com}, i contacted him and he told me not to worry that all he had to do for me is a love spell, he did it and told me that i should give my husband 48 hours and that he would realize him self, i waited anxiously and one the second day of casting the spell, he came to me and told me he was sorry for the wrong he did to me, he has agreed to send me to school and we are happy. Thank you Dr Ewan you are the best. If you have any marital problem, winning of lottery and many other problems you can contact him on his email, {COVENANTSOLUTIONTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM} or call his mobile number +2347052958531, he is a good and kind man. Thanks. ELIZABETH STRONG LONDON UK

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over 2 years ago

Are you having a hard time searching for a way to get your ex partner back, look no further, this was how i got mine back you can get yours today. My husband and I have been through every top reason for divorce; financial struggles, bankruptcy, stressful jobs, becoming parents when we weren’t ready (neither one of us would give our kids back just the amount of stress is overwhelming) we fought ALL the time over anything and everything. I threatened divorce all the time. One day after a fight I said I was done and filling. He told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore. After a day or two of cooling off I realized that divorce is not what I wanted. No, our marriage was not healthy but we had so much going against us an neither one of us were trying. I begged for him to forgive me and that I didn’t mean it. He told me he loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore. Those words hurt and I believed him.One day i was online for tutorials, as i was browsing i saw a review about a spell caster who could solve my problem, i have heard about spell casting, and magic, i said i should give it a try i contacted the spell caster his name is Dr Ewan of {covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com}, i contacted him and he told me not to worry that all he had to do for me is a love spell, he did it and told me that i should give my husband 48 hours and that he would realize him self, i waited anxiously and one the second day of casting the spell, he came to me and told me he was sorry for the wrong he did to me, he has agreed to send me to school and we are happy. Thank you Dr Ewan you are the best. If you have any marital problem, winning of lottery and many other problems you can contact him on his email, {COVENANTSOLUTIONTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM} or call his mobile number +2347052958531, he is a good and kind man. Thanks. ELIZABETH STRONG LONDON UK

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over 2 years ago

Are you having a hard time searching for a way to get your ex partner back, look no further, this was how i got mine back you can get yours today. My husband and I have been through every top reason for divorce; financial struggles, bankruptcy, stressful jobs, becoming parents when we weren’t ready (neither one of us would give our kids back just the amount of stress is overwhelming) we fought ALL the time over anything and everything. I threatened divorce all the time. One day after a fight I said I was done and filling. He told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore. After a day or two of cooling off I realized that divorce is not what I wanted. No, our marriage was not healthy but we had so much going against us an neither one of us were trying. I begged for him to forgive me and that I didn’t mean it. He told me he loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore. Those words hurt and I believed him.One day i was online for tutorials, as i was browsing i saw a review about a spell caster who could solve my problem, i have heard about spell casting, and magic, i said i should give it a try i contacted the spell caster his name is Dr Ewan of {covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com}, i contacted him and he told me not to worry that all he had to do for me is a love spell, he did it and told me that i should give my husband 48 hours and that he would realize him self, i waited anxiously and one the second day of casting the spell, he came to me and told me he was sorry for the wrong he did to me, he has agreed to send me to school and we are happy. Thank you Dr Ewan you are the best. If you have any marital problem, winning of lottery and many other problems you can contact him on his email, {COVENANTSOLUTIONTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM} or call his mobile number +2347052958531, he is a good and kind man. Thanks. ELIZABETH STRONG LONDON UK

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over 2 years ago

Are you having a hard time searching for a way to get your ex partner back, look no further, this was how i got mine back you can get yours today. My husband and I have been through every top reason for divorce; financial struggles, bankruptcy, stressful jobs, becoming parents when we weren’t ready (neither one of us would give our kids back just the amount of stress is overwhelming) we fought ALL the time over anything and everything. I threatened divorce all the time. One day after a fight I said I was done and filling. He told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore. After a day or two of cooling off I realized that divorce is not what I wanted. No, our marriage was not healthy but we had so much going against us an neither one of us were trying. I begged for him to forgive me and that I didn’t mean it. He told me he loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore. Those words hurt and I believed him.One day i was online for tutorials, as i was browsing i saw a review about a spell caster who could solve my problem, i have heard about spell casting, and magic, i said i should give it a try i contacted the spell caster his name is Dr Ewan of {covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com}, i contacted him and he told me not to worry that all he had to do for me is a love spell, he did it and told me that i should give my husband 48 hours and that he would realize him self, i waited anxiously and one the second day of casting the spell, he came to me and told me he was sorry for the wrong he did to me, he has agreed to send me to school and we are happy. Thank you Dr Ewan you are the best. If you have any marital problem, winning of lottery and many other problems you can contact him on his email, {COVENANTSOLUTIONTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM} or call his mobile number +2347052958531, he is a good and kind man. Thanks. ELIZABETH STRONG LONDON UK

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over 2 years ago

Are you having a hard time searching for a way to get your ex partner back, look no further, this was how i got mine back you can get yours today. My husband and I have been through every top reason for divorce; financial struggles, bankruptcy, stressful jobs, becoming parents when we weren’t ready (neither one of us would give our kids back just the amount of stress is overwhelming) we fought ALL the time over anything and everything. I threatened divorce all the time. One day after a fight I said I was done and filling. He told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore. After a day or two of cooling off I realized that divorce is not what I wanted. No, our marriage was not healthy but we had so much going against us an neither one of us were trying. I begged for him to forgive me and that I didn’t mean it. He told me he loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore. Those words hurt and I believed him.One day i was online for tutor, as i was browsing i saw a review about a spell caster who could solve my problem, i have heard about spell casting, and magic, i said i should give it a try i contacted the spell caster his name is Dr Ewan of {covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com}, i contacted him and he told me not to worry that all he had to do for me is a love spell, he did it and told me that i should give my husband 48 hours and that he would realize him self, i waited anxiously and one the second day of casting the spell, he came to me and told me he was sorry for the wrong he did to me, he has agreed to send me to school and we are happy. Thank you Dr Ewan you are the best. If you have any marital problem, winning of lottery and many other problems you can contact him on his email, {COVENANTSOLUTIONTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM} or call his mobile number +2347052958531, he is a good and kind man. Thanks. ELIZABETH STRONG LONDON UK

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over 2 years ago

Are you having a hard time searching for a way to get your ex partner back, look no further, this was how i got mine back you can get yours today. My husband and I have been through every top reason for divorce; financial struggles, bankruptcy, stressful jobs, becoming parents when we weren’t ready (neither one of us would give our kids back just the amount of stress is overwhelming) we fought ALL the time over anything and everything. I threatened divorce all the time. One day after a fight I said I was done and filling. He told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore. After a day or two of cooling off I realized that divorce is not what I wanted. No, our marriage was not healthy but we had so much going against us an neither one of us were trying. I begged for him to forgive me and that I didn’t mean it. He told me he loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore. Those words hurt and I believed him.One day i was online for tutor, as i was browsing i saw a review about a spell caster who could solve my problem, i have heard about spell casting, and magic, i said i should give it a try i contacted the spell caster his name is Dr Ewan of {covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com}, i contacted him and he told me not to worry that all he had to do for me is a love spell, he did it and told me that i should give my husband 48 hours and that he would realize him self, i waited anxiously and one the second day of casting the spell, he came to me and told me he was sorry for the wrong he did to me, he has agreed to send me to school and we are happy. Thank you Dr Ewan you are the best. If you have any marital problem, winning of lottery and many other problems you can contact him on his email, {COVENANTSOLUTIONTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM} or call his mobile number +2347052958531, he is a good and kind man. Thanks. ELIZABETH STRONG LONDON UK

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almost 3 years ago

I am a 47 year old woman who experienced sibling incest as a child. I have to admit it is my psychological albatross all the more for being a subject that is silenced and almost complicit. Just about all of the people I have decided to talk to have also admitted to me similar experiences if not of incest of sexual abuse. Discovering this page and reading the many comments it felt so wonderful not to feel alone.

I have tried to convince myself over the years that it didn't happen, how could I ruin the perfect family. I did try to tell the adults but it was difficult for me and nobody seemed to want to listen. In the end I felt as though I had taken control and stopped it which allowed me some empowerment until an incident later caused me to once more feel abused.

I am now a psychologist and a mother of 3 and at a point in my life where I want to do the psychology that I should be doing but I keep on being held back by my own secret.

It does hurt and damage us no matter how innocent it can be made to seem. I fully intend to find a way to let go of this experience and find some peace. I also feel strongly that any incestual experience in childhood can be very damaging to an individual.

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almost 3 years ago

You don't have to feel bad just because your lover left you, When you have someone like Dr.Ekpen Temple who is capable to bring your lover back to you within 48 hours. At first i was a novice to this kind of thing, But after reading a lot of review online about Dr.Ekpen Temple i felt like giving him an opportunity to prove himself. So i took the contact information of Dr.Ekpen Temple which were +2347050270218 or via email: ekpentemple@gmail.com And my heart was filled with joy because just within 48 hours my lover returned. Thanks you Sir.

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almost 3 years ago

Print

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about 3 years ago

Incest - Effects On Victims

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about 3 years ago

My parents left my older borther in charge when they went out. I was 4 years younger than him. WHen he found out my mother was going to have another child, he started sodomizing me, making me suck him (after he washed with a nildewed facecloth - I hate that smell to this day). This continued through the years until I was 12. At that time it was the cruelest experience. He had stoled a straight-jacket form a "rest home" that was being closed in our neighborhood. He talked me into getting into it, promising he would let me right out. Instead he threw me on the floor, sodomized me, and then left me on the living room floor with my bottom nude until 8 minutes before my father was due home. Then he untied me and told me to clean the house before my Dad came home. I told him if he ever put his hands on me again, I would report him to the police. I told him it was over. I didn't care what would happen to him. That was the last time it happened.
I never told my parents, because I thought I was protecting them. I shoved it down deep inside me and lived with it. I met another woman who also was abused by her brother. Sodomized. It is very prevalent. After my father died I could not hide it anymore. I told my Mom and she would never accept it. My sister says "he was a different person then." and my brother says he does not remember it. Of course, I suffer from depression, anxiety and insomnia. This has greatly affected my life. I have a little dog and I am 68 years old. I plan on killing myself when he dies because I cannot live without love anymore. There is no reason to go on. No one in my family is close to me anymore, I am the pariah and my brother is Poor Elliott, who is so good and has such bad COPD he is on oxygen. I am just the outcast because I spoke up. So in an way, the abuse continues to this day. I have forgiven several times but I can't forget. Certain tines a month, I get flashbacks and undergo a horrible crying depressive attack that makes me feel totally unloved (which I am) totally unlovable and a pariah. The level of pain - both mental and physical is killing. So, you see, the abuse continues.

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about 3 years ago

this information was really valuable to since I also experienced incest from my father who sexually abused me from the age of 11 when my parents got divorced till I turned 18 and left to my mother's place..I'm 23 mow and I've been married since a year now and I really think that it still affects me and hopefuly not but I think will soon destroy my marriage since now I just picture my husband as my father when I look at him I just see my father..plus I have been seing nihgtmares almost everyday since I was about 12 till nowI have a really hard time sleeping..I also find myself attracted to women sometimes ...it's really bad

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about 3 years ago

I want to quickly write on a Powerful Love spell Caster that helped me
when i had a misunderstanding with my Husband which leads to Divorced,
I contacted this Powerful Love spell caster for help and He actually
helped me without running away with my money. I am So Happy and
Excited because as i am writing this Testimony, My Husband is madly in
love with me again. If there is anybody Out there who is in
Difficulties and need help should kindly Contact DR Moon on His Email
Address and he is Ready to Help you no matter the Situation, Here is
His Email Address: doctormoontemple778@gmail.com

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over 3 years ago

We are all born into sin.Do not let the sin of others effect you. Through Jesus Christ and God we are healed of all sin, through a direct relationship
with God. Becoming more Christ like is a process. Asking for the holy spirit to come inside and heal you of the anger as you have been a victim of others sin. Please I use you all to read the Bible, take bible study classes and surround yourself with other Christians who repent for their sins.

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over 3 years ago

I am a 28 year old female. I was abused from a very young age. It started with the babysitter's son who would force me to perform oral sex on him while threatening he would hurt me if I didn't. The few times I refused he beat me senseless and at one point even broke my ankle. This probably explains why when my brother started approaching me at the age of five for sexual favors I gave in with no question. This relationship also began with oral sex. By the time I was ten I had already been fingered and fucked thoroughly. There were even times when I pretended to sleep but it didn't stop him. Imagine being eleven and thinking you are not only pregnant but pregnant with your own brother's child. I wasn't thank God. I was abused well over a hundred times by at least five different people. But my brother was the longest offender. The abuse continued until my fifteenth birthday when I finally decided I wouldn't let it happen anymore. He asked me of course but I just told him no. I'm still unable to have sexual relations with people I love. I'm finding myself sleeping with people I don't even like just for the feeling of euphoria that sex brings me. But afterwords I find myself being depressed for weeks and sometimes even months. I've become dependent on porn for pleasure. I fear I may never have a healthy relationship.

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over 3 years ago

Please help me

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over 3 years ago

Also? Pedophilia is not a disease. It's a form of sadism. It's about power and domination, not attraction. These people need no sympathy. Enough with the Carl Rogers "just acting on needs" nonsense. The legal system will never change as long as people buy this silly disease theory. Diabetes is a disease. Multiple sclerosis is a disease. Child abuse is a choice.

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over 3 years ago

Sonja--that is some of the worst victim-blaming advice I have ever heard. Inducing fear of one's own natural emotions--such as sadness, anger, fear, and pain--in an incest victim is absolutely shameful. So is the expectation that abuse victims should be resilient, ultra-strong ubermenschen who are perpetually positive. You almost sound like an apologist who does not want to see an abuser get hurt by an angry survivor. Anger is not the enemy. Dissociating from it is a bad idea. The abuser is the enemy, and anger is a form of recognizing the abuse as evil.

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about 4 years ago

Believe Jesus Christ is your savior for your sins. Jesus Christ is God Almighty in the Flesh. This is the Gospel, believe Jesus Christ shed his precious blood and died for you and all of your sins on the cross, he was buried and he rose again from the dead three days later from God's Power and you will be saved, you are a Born Again Christian and you will go to Heaven forever. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God to where we all deserve death, destruction and judgement in the Lake of Fire from the wrath of God to where we need a savior to save us for our sins forever. By receiving Jesus Christ's blood sacrifice as full payment for your sins you will be saved forever. It matters not how much you have sinned in the past, in the present and in the future. Once you are saved you are saved forever no matter what. Good works will not ever save you and no one and nothing else will. That is the Gospel and if you believe in the Gospel you are now a Born Again Christian and you are now saved and you will go to Heaven forever and that is the whole truth. Spread the truth. All glory goes to God forever! Praise God! Amen! (John Ch. 3:16, Romans Ch. 3:25, 4:1-6, 5:9, 1 Corinthians Ch. 15:1-4, Ephesians Ch. 2:8-9) The Authorized King James Version Bible.

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almost 5 years ago

I really want to thank Dr Ero for saving my marriage. My husband really treat me bad and left the home for almost 1 month i was sick because of this, then i contacted eromosalelovespell@outlook.com for help, they told me that my husband is under a great spell of another woman. They cast a spell of return back of love on him. And he came back home for forgiveness and today we are happy again, i want you all who are having relationship, ex and even husband problem to contact eromosalelovespell@outlook.com

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over 5 years ago

i want to thank God for using Dr trust as my source of savior after 2year of joblessness and my lover left me alone for 2 years,Have just been heart broken until i go in contact with Dr trust after i saw a ladies testimony on how she was helped by this same dr trust,So i decided to get in contact with him and when i told him all my problem she laughed and said this is not a problem that everything will be ok in 3days time.Exactly the 3rd day my ex lover called me i was shocked and what surprise me the most was that a company i applied for over 4month called me and said i should resume work as soon as possible.Am so grateful to Dr trust if you wish in contacting him worldwidesupremetemple@gmail.com or is cell number +2348065147905 . He do cast the spell as following
(1) If you want your ex back.
(2) you need a divorce in your relationship
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women & men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) You want to be rich.
(7) You want to tie your husband & wife to be yours forever.
(8) If you need financial assistance.
(9) Herbal care
Contact him today on: worldwidesupremetemple@gmail.com+2348065147905

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almost 6 years ago

To every one who has posted about their experience, thank you. It helps knowing that one am not alone. I grow up in an unstable home, where my mother would bring up different men pretty much every night of the week and have sex with them in our living room or just in front of us. So sex to me, even thought I did not fully understand it, was normal. I was the youngest female of two older siblings. When I was in the first grade or so, my brother who is two years older then myself asked me one day while we where playing in his closet if he could watch me pee right were I was. I instantly felt scared,looked at him weirdly, and told him No. He then grab me, tickled me so hared it hurt, asked me again and I said no. Holding tightly he tried to pull off my clothes. But I struggled and got away from him and ran as fast as I could. I tried to avoid being alone with him from that day on. However kept asking me if he could see me naked and touch me when ever he got the chance. Finally, I ether gave in or he forced me I don't remember. Thus he began to molest me and eventually one day he tried to have sex with me. However it hurt so I started to cry and asked him to stop so he did. After that every time that he came to me I use to pretend that my soul was not in my body. I would close my eyes and pretended that I was in another place like at the park which helped me. During all of this, he told me not to tell any one or else we would get in trouble so I told no one. He also began acting like my father during this oddly. Then when I was nine Children's aid took us away and all three of us went to live in foster care for ever. By then I hated my brother. However slowly over the years, my brother and I have become better since we then. I lived with him shortly last year and he actually apologies for what happened when we were little. Although he is struggling with substance abuse, and finding his place in this world, he is trying to better himself. He just came to me like a few days ago and admitted that he is gay which was shocking! But good that he came out and told us. As for moi, I am 21 years old and trying to heal. I know that it is a long journey to recovery but it is possible! Take it slowly and get support!

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about 6 years ago

xx

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over 6 years ago

Thank you. This is a good article.

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over 6 years ago

Incest - Effects On Victims

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almost 7 years ago

At 50 I can think and see many of the effects, before 40 I pretty much blocked the whole thing out, I had problems for other reasons. When the tiny sliver of a thought of it slipped in, it was my fault, not his, even though he had three feet, 4 years and 50 pounds on me. You see when I thought of it it made me feel ashamed, I was a bad person, so the answer was not to think of it.
At 9 years old it was almost flattering that my bully brother was paying attention to me, not hitting me yelling at me or generally being cruel, no he was being nice and it was our secret. It wasn't until I was 12 or 13 I began to think this isn't right I am doing something wrong and I began to feel ashamed the more I realized just what it was, but if I told anyone I would just feel more ashamed and terrible than I already did,,so I kept quiet and so did he.
I finally admitted it in therapy one day . it empowered me and freed my a bit from the shame because just saying it out loud made me see he was the one who was in the wrong not me, he. a teenager knew what sex was, I didn't, to me at 9 years old sex was when you put two barbie dolls together and they kissed, we didn't do that.
Admitting it did not fix everything but it did allow me to free myself to enjoy my next 50 years a bit more than my first

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almost 7 years ago

My 10 yr older half sister was molested by my father from age 9-12 (she is now 70). She married at 16 to an abusive guy, had kids, divorced. My parents "played" with lots of friends, my younger brother and I witnessed naked bodies on the living room floor. My sister, while still married, would have sex with her husband with my parents on the floor or bed next to them. After her divorce, she was seen cozing up to my dad, showering with him, sitting in his lap, etc. She tried to kill herself around age 50. She told our mother about 20 yrs ago (i believe mom knew) My younger brother and I still have problems with our sister for the showering, lap sitting, etc. Is it "normal" for incest victims to indulge in this kind of behavior, returning to their abuser and wanting sex from them?

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almost 7 years ago

Me & twin brother shared bed all our lives till we were 14 and started to explore when we were 9. I'd discovered orgasm and wanted to show him, we feel like we are two bits of the same person anyway. I rember clear as day the first time. I showed him and he got hard, after I came I showed him how to do it to me and tried to give him one but didnt know boys could not come till they got puberty. He gave me great ones all the time but it wasnt till we were 13 that I managed to get him to spurt and feel how lovely that is.
I first got him to go inside me when we were 11 and his first spurt was in me. My questions are, why did I get boobs, hair, and that at 10 and he still had no hair till 14? And because we are really the same person just in two bits what's wrong with that? Anyway I don't want any other boy, If I share myself and I've only ever done it three times, I want a girl not a boy. I REALLY fancy Alison my best school friend but she freaked out at sleepover when I gave her one a couple years ago. She loved it when we did it and did it back and gave me my first real kiss, held eachother close all night but refused to ever talk about it next day and ignored me, still does. When I tell her I love her she calls me a freak. What did I do wrong, we both loved it and loved eachother till that best night. I still give my brother sex but wish he was a girl. Am I a freak?
Poppy

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almost 7 years ago

It began when i was 8 to 9 yrs old. I visited a cousin and she her friend will perform these sexual acts to me. I cut me my her I was confused about what was done to me. it continued you to happen to me every time i wen over by my cousins. I have a sister and two brothers. i am so proud of myself to know that God has made me stronger than the people who did these things to me.I AM NOT LIKE THEY!!!! I will not let now of my siblings or nephews or nieces go through anything. I went through in my life. I later got raped numerous of times and got physical abused in a relationship with someone who was to be my boyfriend. I also got to teased throughout my life many times for this. I have problems being in a relationship with a partner. I have problems making or keeping friends. And, Everyone is always jealous of me. So, I got hospitalized. Now, I am living with a So-called untreatable, unacknowledged, paranoia, Mental Disorder. I have not been able to work for years. And, i had to live with a lot of merciless family. but, i am doing a little better and hoping for a happy ending. A ending without pain. All abuse happened to me by people I trusted.Now, I can't trust No One Psychologically. Because,I don't need the same things to happen again. Please look out for signs so the younger ones who know no better can get help.

WORLD PEACE!!!!!
LOVE, RESPECT, HOPE

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almost 7 years ago



I have ordered from you before and I would like you to know I had great success. One example: after casting your lots a luck spell, I succeded effortlessly to lose nearly 3 stones in weight. I thankyou for your service...Dr(gbocotemple@yahoo.com)...

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almost 7 years ago

Girls, you must hold on to the truth that this is not your fault. There is much evil in the world and if you do some research, you will find that someone in past generation, your parents, grandparents and even farther back was also an abuser committing incest. It is a generational curse. For those of you who are not able to talk about this to the family members, keep talking. I am 57 years old and had to repeat my story several times to my parents how my brother's incest damaged my life. They were in denial. Ironically, I was able to honestly forgive my brother in my heart with Jesus' help two years ago. It didn't mean I wanted to take him to lunch or even stay in contact, but I had to forgive him so that I could go on to live my own life. Please don't wait till you're my age. Ironically about ten days later he dropped dead of a heart attack. I know it's not funny, but strange. I am writing a book about this... Please, all of you who can leave the house or stop going to family parties with perpetrators, refuse to go... They expect you to to contantly stuff your feelings... Tell your family you aren't comfortable and stop going!

If your parents or family don't feel devastated for you, they are selfish losers victimiizing you again. They hold the power as long as you let them. Also, I have been to 5 therapists in my life. They do help, but I find that Christian counselors are the best. You can pray away the pain but it takes time. It breaks my heart to read this blog. Remember, they are the monster, not you. Even if the abuse went on for 10 years. These demons know how to groom you and manipulate... It's not your fault. Cry out to God and open your Bible. The devil wants you to stay in misery.

PROVE EVIL WRONG with Jesus' help. God Bless you. Signed, A victim no more.

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almost 7 years ago

Thank you to all who choose to share their experience and hurts online. It is good to know I am not alone. I believe strongly that God can heal any hurt and faith in him is the answer to healing. My soul has been sick since I was a teenager, I am now in mid life. I finally found peace when I came to Christ. Thank you Father God for healing me. I hope all of you will take my advice and seek God along with other methods to heal.

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almost 7 years ago

I was felt up by a family member until I was 12 years old. Every time I stayed over at her home, She had me sleep in the same bed with her and she'd start feeling me up and kissing. She'd make it a game and ask, "What's this?" while grabbing parts of my anatomy. Later, she'd tell me that it was okay because we were related. Only relatives can do this.

My parents knew, but acted like it was meaningless. I know it happened to my siblings. I'm sure it was worse with my brother. He avoided her when he could, and for a while, became a very angry kid. Ironically, I still loved that relative. I didn't want her to go to jail.
I always saw her as a vulnerable person who couldn't control her impulses.
I asked my teacher once, when I was 9, "My friend's relative told me touching was okay, is that true?"
My teacher was shocked, and gently asked me who my friend was. She even took me aside and asked again.
She then told me, it wasn't okay, and never is. And if I ever needed any help, I could ask her.
That was the closest I ever got to getting help and even feeling a little vindicated.

I'm lucky my relative wasn't so violent. But for some reason, I have trouble with relationships once they get sexual.
Honestly, I hate sex. I hate kissing. I will probably never get married nor have kids. And that's just the way it goes.

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almost 7 years ago

Some people seek help here, but all there are is stories about their own experiences.
So that's my motivation to respond.

I got some general advice:
What usually works is taking your frustrations to a sport of choice, preferably one you can go to anytime you want to, and release it all there.

The frustrations shouldn't be set on a target, but rather a goal to achieve, like bicycle 15 miles in an hour or jogging without a break for 2 hours.
Be pissed, be angry, all doesn't matter, and face your own goals with the determination you get from it and achieve them. (so do make it a challenge, but not impossible)

This way you 'express' your emotions without the need to say it out loud to someone.
This prevents you from clogging up emotions.
Also the general benefits of sports are especially good for most of you, like fighting overweight, (causes additional stress) it also clears up the mind and slightly normalizes abnormalities in the behavior.
Also you probably get more outside.

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almost 7 years ago

my grandpa, who I lived with most all my childhood did. I'm at a point where I'm out of control in my relationship, and everyday I'm noticing this changed me in the worst way. talking doesn't help. So wt& am I supposed to do? I sabotage everything good. I feel hopeless, and can't even watch simple tv shows that are R rated. I take out anger on the people who don't deserve it, and I just want to be better/normal. I'm only turning 21 this can't be the rest of my life.

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about 7 years ago

Hi, I have been abused also. Couple of times when I was young; around ages 4-5. Starting around my kindergarten year, by a bunch of my older brothers friends(male).(We lived in a duplex with my relatives next door.) There was a friend and I, who wanted to be part of their click. So they did the initiative or introduction to there group by making us stand in front of an old TV set with wooden settings around it, popped in the VCR. You guessed it adult video! Then they surrounded us in a circle on a bed and made us do some role playing with the private area and many different positions, they picked from the bad video. Then... weeks went by and my brother had and idea when my friend came over, he wanted us to go into the closet to do something with us. "This is vivid still." My friends said he didn't but i told him why not its part of the initiative right to do this. So we took off our clothes and assumed positions, but then my cousin came up the stairs and knocked hard on the door asking us what we were doing. We said, " Nothing" and came out of the closet. Then a year went by I started to do things with my friend who just moved into town. I was only 6 by the time this happened. His family move to the house next to ours. Then I introduced him into our initiative to get into the group, by myself at his place while his family was next door at mine. This went free play for some while.for a couple of days. Until one day he came to my house and I wanted to do it with him he said he can not do this anymore, because my brother was doing this with him first. So I stopped and never did it to him again. Then... a couples of years went down the road. I was 8-9 years old. When my parents went out and my cousins who were girls(2) was watching over us. I had 3 siblings and my relatives had a little brother, these older relatives had a younger brother 2 years my senior. They told me in order to sleep on the bed, I had to perform oral sex. Just slipping it in and out. Then you will be able to sleep on the bed.-I had my rabbit tale and a favorite pon with me- "This is a lot to remember for an 8-9 year old." I did what I was told and slept on the bed like they promised. Then years went by and I had no knowledge of what I did, but that it was what it was. My brothers and his friends started beating me up and my friend around the 3rd to 4th grade and continued harassing us. Calling us,Homo-sexual slurs. This endured until our High School year. I started doing promiscuous things with a lot of females around 15 years of age and gave a guy a 2 sec lick and suck, but didn't like it; so I stopped because he was not trying to give me anything. I was still following theses guys around and getting into trouble, but we never did those acts when we were a child again, after we enter our High School years(grade 7). Smoking drugs and drinking.Still being harassed by my older brother and his friends. Arousing myself with adult videos of both sex.Then.. things started to go downhill from there.I had these bad thoughts and memories of my childhood and what happened. Starting hearing voices in my head, saying I'm guilty of incest, hate,envy,liar, homo and etc. of all these things. I slept with a friends girl who was in the Army, then everyone started hating on me. Then around 16, my mother was cheating on my father, and I witnessed him over at the house and got very angry and wanted to hurt her. So the voices started to say do this and god will save you. So I thought of raping her, so I went into her room when she was drunk and I snuck in unveiled her blanket and saw she was wearing underwear and I uncovered it and thought of all the things I can do to this body. My own mother for god's sake hearing this voice in my head. I examined her body with my eyes and was going to do it, but then I heard a voice say, "this is not worthy," so I stopped and went to bed feeling sick because all these bad thoughts came rushing in at me all at once. I went dry for five years, drinking and continued the drugs after the incident even though I didn't rape her or anything. I got hardcore into the feeling of meth and marijuana. The incest of my childhood still lingers on my mind and the thought of hurting my mother and seeing her naked made crap worst. Sickness and digust threaded on my mind. Feeling low, just because I quit caring and that incest was going to ruin my life. Feeling guilty and ashamed for doing and seeing theses things. I am 22 now and had a gay fling without penetration and it still disturbed my soul. Even though I didn't hurt my mother I hurt myself in the process because incest destroyed me and my life. I don't love my life Jesus I don't at all. I put the blame for years on others and I forgave all. I still have the shame bearing down on me. I tried killing myself and things never worked out for me. I lost the women I loved at 18 because I told her what happened in my childhood and about my mother. She left me, but it deserves me right because these things are not right. I say my life is worth nothing at this point.... but thats my story. Watch Out for your kids, parents with extra care. Go to church and learn all the rules and tell your children God's commandments, saying these commandments is life, so live by them and god will help you forever if you obey.

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about 7 years ago

I was raped by a neighbor and told my brother. He then started touching and raping me. My cousins then joined in. Now that it is about 15 years later... I am unhealthy mentally. So many people go thru forms of incest and its gotta STOP! The only way it can be helped is if we teach our kids to SPEAK up! Parents arent always around and sometimes it's the parent that is doing the abuse. I would have spoken up if i felt like i would be loved and supported. There needs to be more support and campaigns for this epidemic. Too many suffer in silence. I'd love to start an outreach program of some sort. Any supporters?

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about 7 years ago

I have read many of these comments. Sadness overcomes me on many of them. Being the male Sig Other of a woman molested by her brother at pre teen years sometimes the spouse is also the victim. There are definite behaviors that are consequences to the sig other from the terrible experiences of the other person. However, you rarely see where there is a consideration of that other person. The victim that I feel is the secondary victim. Short observation!

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about 7 years ago

my friend was molested as a child and im seeing strange behavor between her son and her.He is 19 yrs old he . one time he was feeling her legs while we were talking he started at the knee and was moving his hand all the way up her legs up her dress and she knew i was watching so she stop him and he was very upset you can see it on his face another time we was watching tv and they was carassing each other on backs, legs etc i felt very unconfortableand when he left the room i told her i was leaving she said she was showing her son affection thats all it looked more than that to me then one day i came over and the door was open and i called her name and her son was running out her bedroom ran pass me and into his room holding his pants and she came running out the room with her panties on lokking like she just wook up but out of breath and he had an older girlfriend but his mother is always telling him what to do anyway he stop having sex with her her mother broke up with her friend and the two of them has nobody and we dont even hear from them or see them anymore is it anything i can do. her son has a learning disorder he get angry if i go around them like he is jelouse of our friendship he acts angry with her not me he yells at her and talk to her badly.when she stops him in front of me he looks very angry at me but he only yells at her

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about 7 years ago

I am a child abuse SURVIVOR. it took me years to overcome the damage. We must stand strong, stronger and strongest. With determination and great counseling, WE CAN OVERCOME.I'm greatly sadened that we don' have groups in every city to suport each other, especially the children that are going thru the worst hell and post trumatic stress ever emagined, nobody knows if they haven't been there. GOD is an amazing HEALER, WE CAN CONVERSE WITH HIM DAY OR NIGHT, IN A ROOM FULL OF PERSONS OR ALONE, OR ALOUD OR ON OUR KNEES. Some persons believe we must forgive our abuser--I peronally don't think we need to think about forgiving-maybe if the abuser ask us to forgive them(then I would think about it, but I don't think (now) that I could or would want to forgive someone that abuses a child. Most important don't hate, hate destories us and I dam well will not give the Devil the pleasure of forgiving him or one of his workers. My God is a strong God, My Jesus Christ is a strong Lord to me, therefore I stand STRONG I AM A SURVIVOR in my Lord and Heavenly Father. To Hell with the Devil and his workers, the abusers that are so low they could dig for `1000's of years to get up to a snakes belly. My Bible (The Kings James Bible) tells me that it is the abusers responibility to ask the person they wronged 1st to forgive them, before they come to God 2nd to ask for forgiveness. The wronged person may or maynot forgive the abuser, either way the abuser then has the right to ask God for forgiveness. My thoughts are that God will not forgive a child rapist, yet I am not to judge, I will not, That is Gods work not mine. I can have thoughts only as to what will happen to the rapiest. MOST DON'T HOLD HATE INSIDE YOU, YOU MUST MAKE UP YOUR MIND TO HELL WITH THE DEVIL AND EVERYTIME THE THOUGHTS OF THE ABUSE COMES TO YOUR MIND TELL THE DEVIL TO STAY OUT OF YOUR MIND AND START YOUR OWN LITTLE CHANT (I WILL WILL HAVE A WONDERFUL LIFE, I WILL HAVE A WONDERFUL LIFE, AND TO HELL WITH THE DEVIL, and order the Devil out of your mind, and only have rememberance inorder to help others, contact your local chif of police, school board members, an PTA and maybe suject that a male and female police officers could go into the schools, from kindergarden thur college to inform the students that child rape will not be a thing to do in your community, and always give out the phome numbers that the children may contact the officers and their workers that are wanting to help children. Thank You Heavenly Father and your Son Jesus Christ, I Pray you will help us all and direct us as to how we can help the children, We know all our strength you have given us, it is just waiting for us to take it. In the Name of your Son. AMEN Folks out there I Love You Also, Lets Keep Ourselves and Each Other Strong Thru Our Prays For Each Other. Never Ever Quit Helping Our Children, they are HELPLESS without strong adults to KEEP THEM SAFT.

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over 7 years ago

I was also a victim of sibling incest. it all started when i was a 9 yr. old girl, and my brother is a 12 yrs. old, he touches my vagina whenever im asleep and i wake up and he pretends he did'nt do anything, and when he did it again and i finally caught him, he return immediatly to his bed and i said "stop pretending so inocent you PERVERTED DEVIL! you've been touchig it and pretending you did'nt do anything!" after that he said "i did'nt do anything, i was sleeping" and i got up and go running to my mom while saying to my brother "Im gonna tell mom what you did!!!" and my brother goes after me and tells me to stop, but i did'nt stop and told my mom! my mom got really mad and confronted my brother, and my brother was real ashamed of it,my hole family knows about his perverted ways, he even does that to maids! me and my eldest brother hold a grudge against him(hmph! and teachers say forgive and forget but its not that easy!)the only non-relative people who knows about this is my two bestfriends, c---e says my brother is ugly and always looks at her with despise and c---a says his a pervert! one time on the phone when i was talking to her my brother took the phone and said something offending to her,many people hates him and hold a grudge on him, including me! and for what he have done.the effect on me was Having flashbacks,self-blaming,despises own body,wants to commit suicide(But i can't,ill go to hell).this things still haunts me inside, and the only thing that can heal this if my perverted brother dies,murdered,got into an accident, or anything that i can think of that will be able to make me feel better or to kill him,i mean like i can't kill him or send someone to kill him, i dont want to live in hell! so thats how a hell of a life this is!

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over 7 years ago

Help

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over 8 years ago

I am 24 years old and when I was young, maybe six, seven, eight, nine years old, I'm not sure, I was molested by my stepbrother. It only happened once but I have never told anyone. I have tried so many times but I can't bring myself to say the actually words. I suffer from horrible nightmares and memories and the littlest thing can trigger the memory of what happened. I've never had a real relationship because I don't believe I can trust any man. While I think my life could have turned out a whole lot worse than it did, I still feel that I am missing out on so many things. Happiness being one and love being another. I can only pray that one day I find the courage and strength to tell this secret that has been killing me slowly soon.

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over 8 years ago

I am not a victim of incest, however, I suffer from endless images which flow trough my mind, of all the horrible and bad secretive things that happen in the world. It is true that the more you learn and know, a curse it becomes. Well to get to the point. My GF when I met her, she was 18 about 6 moths ago, and now 19. She was very shy, pretty yet hardly talks to anyone, and is very over protected by her parents, specially her dad. With time, I noticed something strange on her, which she had given hints before but I had never paid attention until that day. She had mentioned about something that gave her NIGHTMARES and caused her pain, sadness and hate, and that she would feel like screaming. She said that it made her hard to TRUST anyone. She also had said that her life had was mostly miserable, and wanted to get out of her house but couldn't because her DAD would tell her that if she moved out, she could never go back or see her mom again. When we still weren't together she had told me that most of her life was like being on a leash, a hell, or like living in a cage, and she had cut herself, and once ended up in hospital for not eating because of it. Her dad also doesn't let her work, and hardly let her talk to guys, only reason why I was allowed to hangout with her was because of her mother. So then after we got together, at times at her house when her parents weren't around I would hug and hold her and so, but other times I would try and and she would back off as if she was uncomfortable with it or something bothered her. So I would talked to her and with time asked about some of the things she had said about the things that caused her pain and gave her nightmares. So she eventually would talk but never say what it was exactly, but each time we'd talk about the NIGHTMARE thing, she would say more. She told me that her dad would beat her up since age 6 and would HURT her until now. That he would also threaten her with a KNIFE that if she ever tired to get or move out that he would kill her. That he would mostly do this when her mom wasn't home. She also said something happened to her from age 6 and on, that she didn't understand until her teenage years, because it started to give her nightmares. With time she revealed that this thing that gives her nightmares still happens to her but that not as often as before because she would fight back. She said she would have panic attacks since age 12 until now. She hadn't said it was her dad who was responsible for the nightmare thing, but everything seemed to point to him. So I asked her if it was her dad, and she did't want to say but eventually she confirmed it. She said that at times she felt like she wanted to kill him and so, and that at times she just wanted to die. She has said that she is thankful to have met me and that because of me she no longer has panic attacks but that she still has nightmares every so, and that I gave her reason to live.
I tried to get her to tell me exactly what the thing was, but she doesn't want to because she says she has kept it inside for long and that no one ever really cared. Also she said she fears that if she tells me I would change with her or not want her anymore and walk away. Which I won't. But she also says it would be weird telling me, and yeah I do believe it will be if she tells me now, so I told her to tell me when she feels ready to.
Well, by my own instinct and all she has said and her dislike of her dad, and everything I've read here, I believe she is sexually abused by her dad.
The worst part is, her dad recently made an excuse to kick me out so I won't be able to visit her. So her and I, decided we were gonna get her out of there already, but she is afraid her dad will come after her because he has always threaten her and he has been to jail for shooting someone, and also can't take her now because she is enrolled in a small private school and she cannot get her papers from it because her dad pays the school and the teachers take her parent's side. Also, she is hardly left home alone. And her house is small and she has no privacy to make calls to me or any kind of help number, her room has no door, just curtains. I was thinking of calling the authorities to help with getting her papers from that school so her dad won't stop us, but still, I believe the dad still would be a threat. I am someone who hates injustices and bad people so figuring all this out has made me feel sick, and more troubled than I already was. I want to help her, but I also feel like making her father pay. Make justice. This has bothered my mind a lot and any advice or so, would help. She is still stuck in that house and for now there is nothing to do about it. She wants to get out, but can't. I plan to get her out, but can't either at the moment. Since I can't visit her cuz her parents won't allow me to, I only get to talk to her when I walk her from her school to her grandma's house, where she gets picked up after, and also keep in touch with her trough her phone. No calls though, cuz her parents listen in on her conversations.
So any advice, support, and help will be good. With time this bothers my mind even more.

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almost 9 years ago

I was sexually abused at age 5 by my oldest brother. It happened only once. Then at age 7 my third youngest brother molested me for 6 years, threatening me and beating me up if I said anything. He also made me have sex with his friends. I have forgiven him, only by the Grace of God, but he can't see any effects his actions played in some of the choices I made growing up. Yes I take full responsibility for being married numerous times and having an unsettled spirit. No one in my family even attempted to guide me. They had plenty to say behind my back though.I had both of my children by age 18. My grandfather was an abuser. My mother doesn't know it, that I know of. Her brother abused her. When I told her at age 14 what her favorite son did, she just said so, my brother did it to me. All this had come back up with my brother recently I tried telling him for the first time what affect it had on me. He says I am not taking responsibility for my actions. He also abused his stepdaughter thats why his marriage ended. My brother also sexually abused my sister. She is adopted. He justified it by saying they weren't related. She has been a mess all her life and still is at 43. Incest is such a terrible thing.

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almost 9 years ago

I'm doing a research paper on incest and domestic violence. If anyone has any valuable information regarding this topic, I ask you to please share it with me...

e-mail me at n2art95@aol.com

~Annabelle

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almost 9 years ago

i suffered abuse by my three elder brothers as far as i no but it started eariler than tht by family membersit took me 16yrs to finally see what my brothers did when i seeked councilling but he told me 5 sessions after finally admitting this (WHICH WAS DAMN HARD) i had run out of hours on the nhs councilling list so now im left with an alchol problem sleep problem i e nightmares and so many many more can any1 advise me where to go next PLEASE!!! :(

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over 9 years ago

Lynn, your story is heartbreaking and so very similar to my family's story. My wish is that you would try to see this through your children's eyes. The horror and humiliation of abuse lasts forever, at times it is manageable, other times it is debilitating. I am now 41 and there are still days I rage more at my mother than my father, for not protecing me. I cannot make this clearer, kids would rather live in a box, on the street, in a shelter, in a car, than suffer the pain and humiliation of abuse. I know with every fiber of my being my mother was afraid, she had no money, she made the choice to stay with my father because her life experience was beyond the decision to take another avenue. Regardless, she was my parent, her sole job on earth was to protect me and she failed. I aplore you to open the lines of communications with your daughters after you have thought long and hard about abuse through a child's eyes. Make ZERO excuses, just let them talk and be truly sorry. They don't care how you felt about this man or your circumstances, they only care that they were completely innocent children with no choices except the ones determined by you and your husband. I hope that you read up on the effects of childhood sexual abuse so that you can have a degree of some understanding of how your daughters lives have and will be affected. Do this before you speak with them. I certainly hope you have reported your husband, so very disturbing you would call this person the love of your life...a person on that pedastal would certainly never make a concious choice to reprehensively change the lives of your children with the most sadistic, self-serving, life-altering act one parent could ever do to a child. I will keep your daughters in my prayers.

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over 9 years ago

I was 6 when the incest started my cusion was the first one to touch me it was exploration really, I didnt feel dirty or ashamed at frist. Then one day he told me to lay down in the grass while we where exploring and he jumped on top of me he was 81/2 he made me bleed so bad he told me if I told mom he'd kill my dog. So I dont know how nut my half brother got in on it too. They told me it was how I showed them I loved them for them to poke at me and prod at me down there. Then my half brother pentatrated me at the age of 7 he was 14 this abuse went on for so long. I feel so dirty I thought it was ok that I was suspose to have sex to show I cared about some one I had many partners. I still feel that if I am not having sex with my huband enough I am not showing him I love him. The abuse from my half brother hasnt ended I dont do sexual things with him anymore but we still talk I am 26 now i feel sick but I love him in a strange way. I know he is sick he has lots of mental issues, I think I forgave him, but when he gets drunk he calls and says the things he use to I hide it from my husband but it makes me feel crazy sick I have to lay down I have to shut the curtins I just lay down and try to block the memoires out. this one time they tied me down and took turns rapeing me in the vigina and anus when I cried nobody could here me they did horrible things to me. they sold me to their friends they would beat me up. They even killed my cat once when I told them I was going to tell my family so I never did. I am married now but I have never enjoyed sex I never have orgasms they ruined me for my kids who this will never happen to and my family and friends I cant hold a job I cant go out or meet new ppl cause I cant trust my self. I was also raped by a man who was just a close friend he was like a second dad to me he got me drunk and he forced him self on me. My husband is the only man who ever treated me kindly didnt try to use me for sexual favors didnt stick his hands down my pants he loves me he knows about my abuse and he is also a vitcim of abuse. I feel like I can talk to him but not about my brother I feel responsable for him even though hes older I feel I have to be there for him. My whole family treats him bad, nobody wants to be around him, I feel like he needs me to be there I feel like he wasnt an abuser more like an addict. I recently went to check on him to find a rifle to his head if I wouldnt have walked in hed have killed him self. then I felt dirty cause I wished he would have.

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over 9 years ago

I'm almost 30yrs of age. This has taken me years to learn how to phrase it right so that it doesnt sound some kinda way..But anyway you look at it it sounds some kind of way there is no clean cut way to describe years of incest in a family. I come from an insestuous family from the age of 4 or 5 to about right before my 13th birthday I suffered from sibbling abuse. The perpetrator my uncle who lived under the same roof as me and was 5-6yrs my senior. At 1st it may have been mutual. But as I grew older it was not and he would bribe me to get me to do what he wanted. At around 15-16 I confessed to my probation officer because by then i was drinking, dabbling in drugs, drinking heavily,running away, flaunting my goodies and had began having sex. I told my probation officer that i had been molested at 15-16 he offered me money to perform oral sex on him and show him my breasts. I found out at around 15-16yrs of age that he had also molested my younger sister as well as she backed up what i had to say about one of my 2 uncles who had been abusing me. My world fell apart because I thought I was in a way protecting her and it disgusted me that he had done this to us both. I found out just this year as he came to my home and admitted to abusing me how akward is that! and informed me that my cousin had come forth acusing him of sexual abuse and he admitted that he had abused me, my sister, my brother, and three of my male cousines. He had stoped molesting me in middle school and began molesting my younger brother at 12yrs of age that made him 19-20yrs when he was abusing my brother. He told me that he had seen a therapyst and been examined and he was not a pedophile. He said that his actions came from him being abused by his older brother for a very long period of time. His brother was 11yrs older then me and was one of the 2 that I had mentioned when confessing to being abused to my mom I remember him exposing himself to me between 6-9yrs of age and I remember always feeling uncomftoble around him when he would touch my thigh or back I felt weird. I came to find out that my abuser was also a victim of abuse. Part of me was shocked, disgusted, for what he had done to me, my sibblings, and cousins to the sickness he had introduced us to as kids. But at the same time at one time or another we all played doctor and renacting in some way shape or form the abuse and sexual activity that we were shown so who do we blame, where is the healing true the space gap between us was not as great as 6-9yrs and we had stoped most of us by 11-12yrs of age. At around 13 or 14 my cousine who is 6months my senior during a sleepover sexually abused me we were heavily drinking together and he began bribing me against my will to perform sexual favors for him. I cried after but before then it may have been consensual. That evening I was abused and felt disgusted with myself and hurt by him for doing what was done to me. I only remember bits and pieces of everything. Due to all the incest that went around in my life, in my family, all the supposed harmless kid games, the exposing, the sticking things here and there, the exxcessive masturbation, inapropriate play with friends. I have had a hard time forgiving myself, I have felt guilty. And infact I'm angry at the person who did all this to me and started the vicious cycle amongst us, he used to be my best friend we were very close from as far back as I can recal till about 12 or 13 once the sexual abuse stoped he was 18-19yrs of age and he was no longer my friend infact I recal him pulling the refridgerator off the wall with me attached to it and him yanking me by the hair. I consider myself abused by 3 men in my life and in participating in the doctor play, lets be mommy and daddy sexual reanacting games that ran rampid in my home with us being sexually uneducated yet having knowledge of sexual things, issolated and always together, not supervised. That is part of what happened to me. And i'm done and I'm sure it sounds the kinda sick way I didnt want it to sound yet it is sick so it sounds some kinda way.

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over 9 years ago

When I was 4, my 15 year old brother molested me.I remember him and I in a shower while he was on top of me rubbing his penis against my vagina.He was just about to go inside me when my mom walked in and interrupted him. I am now 23 and just starting to remember it, I have repressed it for 19 years. I don't know if my brother has done this more than once to me. My parents knew about this and my mom was angry at my brother for years. I am now in counceling.

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almost 10 years ago

When I was 7 or 8 my older brother started to molest me. he was 15 or 16 at the time. when he first asked me if he could stick his pee pee in my butt i was scared but he told me that all my friends were doing it with there brothers and it was the normal thing to do. he would make me give him head, and he would rub his pee pee on my crotch. one time he actually came in my mouth but bc i was so young he convinced me it was soap. i know i some point i thought maybe this isnt right because i was to scared to say anything and when i asked him he said that if i said anything he would tell mom what ive been doing Ive have only told one person ever about this. I told my fiance about 2 yrs ago it was the 1st time i'd ever said anything to anyone im almost 23 so since the age of 7 or 8 ive kept it inside. i dont know why im telling people this that i dont know when ive only had courage to tell 1 person. i dont honestly know how long this went on i wanna say 2 yrs but it could of been longer or shorter. all these yrs ive never thought about it like after i realized that its not something everyone does i looked at it as he was sick. but lately ive been having alot of problems with how i feel about it, i feel like its my fault, like i should of known better and i should of stopped it. I feel like im the one thats sick because i let it happen. i also feel that im sick bc sense it started till today i have dreams about it. i feel guilty for not telling my mom it was going on but at the same time i dont want to hurt her. i feel like if i opened my mouth now it wouldnt sound real c why would i bring it up now and not years ago? when i read the article alot of how i am makes sense. im very shy, i dont trust older guys like when im alone in a room with a guy i feel like he will try something i even felt like this around my own family members and my brother is the only one that has ever done anything. im pretty sure i suffer from depression at times and when i was younger i wanted to kill myself just to get away from it. i feel like its a sickness in me and now im scared to have kids. my parents got a divorce and when they did my dads sis told my mom that when she was a kid my dad did it to her then yrs later we found out that my dads mom did stuff to her brother so i feel like its hereditary and my kids will catch my sickness. my fiance has been trying to convince me that its not my fault at all that i was to young to know that it was wrong and that with him saying he would tell on me that scared me. since high school ive wanted to go into psychology, and i knew i always wanted to focus on kids and young adults, the last few yrs ive really felt as if i need to help kids that have been sexually abused but now the last few weeks all these feelings of me feeling nasty and guilty and like it was my fault i think to my self, how can i help any kid going through that if i cant even help myself, i cant help anyone when i feel the way i do about my situation..... ugh that was long, not sure why i even talked about it i just felt like i needed to share my story, guess its kinda a step forward to getting help?

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almost 10 years ago

Amen Lynette! Praise Jesus for setting you free....thank you for sharing that :)

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almost 10 years ago

I just want to say that I was sexually abused by my father. It was hidden for 28 years. I found Christ 4 years ago and through God's word I found strength and encouragemnt to face my greatest fears.

There is no greater encouragemnt and love then Christ which fills the emptiness in our hearts. Through Him there is forgiveness, healing, repentance, and true freedom! No it doesn't just all go away but Christ died for exactly this horrible sin which ruins many lives. Christ died to free us and them. No other can save us but Him and there is power in the cross and His blood. I prayed for each and everyone of you. Be blessed.

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almost 10 years ago

Hello, I am a 40 year old man who has been married to a wonderful woman for nearly 3 years, the issue of chilldhood sexual abuse has become a major problem for our marriage as of late. I was molested around the age of 10, and it seems as if my child hood memories are a blur, I see familt albums and I often find myself not remembering any of the events in most of the pictures, Its as though I am seeing pictures of another child and not me. Over the years I have suppressed my feelings and escaped by using alcohol as my means of escaping the pains. I have given up alcohol for it has led to a destruction of me and my marriage, we are seeing therapist to help us repair the damage and possibly piece the marrage back together, this is no easy task. My beautiful loving wife was also sexually abused as a young girl by her father. we have obviously coped with our past differently, I feel her pain yet I don't feel like she believes me. The trust she has for me is very gaurded, I realize that this is partly my fault and it will take time to get that trust back. There are days when we are together where everything is storybook perfect until somthing triggers a bad memmory, and it seems that all efforts go to pot. I hope and pray that we will be able to save our marriage and our sanity, and move forward in a healthy and happy life together. There is so much to work on, it seems like a lost cause somtimes, I want to let all that past go, and go forward. Can it be done?

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about 10 years ago

I've come across this site today after nearly 14 years of marriage I was able to open up a little about the incestuous abuse I suffered from the age of 9years to 14 years old by my 4 brothers. I've had to bury this secret for so long that it's affected my relationship with my husband. When my daughter admitted that when she was 9 her stepbrother molested her in her bottom, my world nearly fell apart. My husband and I nearly divorced, but instead he disowned his son as he denied it. His son was very jealous of the fact that he did not live with his dad and my daughter did. We offered our daughter counselling but she refused, she was 11 when she told us about the abuse. It's like a spiral, when will I ever be free of this. I have real trust issues, I don't know whether this is one of the symptoms of this type of abuse and I find it hard to trust men of my own race. In order to get on with my life, I've had to bury the secret deep inside my subconscious. At times I feel very tearful and unworthy of any type of love, other times I seem to lock myself in a world where there is no feeling of positiveness at all! My relationship with my husband is suffering to a point I no longer want to be with him sexually. I feel my husband won't understand as he has a very positive relationship with my brothers as it would destroy my mother, other close family members and I would feel shame and guilt all over again. In a way, I feel burying this is like control. I do see my family quite regularly, and in a way, I feel as if I'm in control as they do not know when I would break and tell everyone what they did to me! I'm afraid to get counselling or be hypnotised as I know it would come out and then I would have to deal with, in a way I do, on the otherhand, I don't. Does that make sense?

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about 10 years ago

Lora, be strong and show your daughter that regardless of how difficult it is for you she is worth it. Don't turn a blind eye or think that it is really not there. My own father threaten to kill my mother and then himself if I ever told. The weight of my entire family rested on my shoulders and even today, now my children's safety is threatened. My mother has become friends with my father as it is old history (and she was abused by her stepfather!). If you want a healthy relationship with your daughter stand up for her, as she may be too afraid otherwise.

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over 10 years ago

I was a vitim as well. I was only three when it started and five when I told my mother about what had been going. My abusers were my cousins. they were 13 and 14 years of age. When my mother confronted my cousins one admitted and the other denied what had been going on. I am really glad that I found a web site like this that allows me to open about my abuse. I have three sons and my oldest son was molested by his stepmother and the Law told me that it was his word against hers. They no longer see the stepmother and their father has divorced her and has remarried another woman. This new woman has a son and now I have found out that this son has molested my middle son. When will the cycle end. I am so frustrated at the system and people in the world. My children no longer see there dad and he seems to not know why. How stupid is that?

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over 10 years ago

My former wife was abused by her father from the age of puberty. She had knowledge of the victimization of her sister and a cousin from the age of three. Her mother knew of the abuse and assisted by protecting the family's reputation. Her father had made comments that suggest he may have been a victim of his mother's abuse.

She continues to refuse to report this and lives with him, now, at the age of 37.

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over 10 years ago

this is my story...

When I was 16 my half brother moved in with my family. He had lived out west with his mother and we hadn't been raised together. One night I was feeling very depressed as he tried to convince me that I was raped when I was 13 (I have recently discovered that no I was not raped at all and that I had just surpressed the memories). My parents were emotionally unavailable to me so I turned to him for comfort. We engaged in a year long relationship, him using my depression and threatening me if I told anyone about this after it ended that he would kill me. It turned out that I had become adjusted to it and actually wanted to have it happen and was upset when it ended. I had fallen in love with him as he was the only person who showed me any affection and was there for me. I know this is wrong and that I am indeed a victim.

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over 10 years ago

when i was about 4 or 5, i was abused by my cousin who is two years older than me. I have never told anyone to this day about it, and have never discussed it with my cousin( who is also a boy)i am 15 now and am confused about what i should do, it has seriously fucked up my life to a certain extent, ie just tried to forget about it and not concentrate on it. The abuse only happened for about 2 weeks but when i look back on it it is deeply distressing. So far, because no one knows about it, my life remains normal and i have many friends and am straight. I want my life to continue normally, is there any way i can permamently forget my experience?

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over 10 years ago

I too was molested by my father and brother. After hospitalization, two weeks inpatient and two weeks outpatient at one of the best facilities in the US, I found out that I had Dissociative Identity Disorder, different personalities. After I was released, I started writing my own memoir, stopped and then my pastor said to read Andy Stanley's book,"From Within the Heart". It talked about allowing family secrets to come out before we could heal. I knew that I must continue to write the book if I was to stay better because my book will help others like myself to heal. You can see it at www.incestvictim.com. I hope all of you can get help somewhere. I was like the family that the mother knew about it and did nothing to save me. It started at the of four that I remember, maybe younger.

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over 10 years ago

I have two children and am divorced from my husband. My daughter is 11 and I am like a pitbull around everything she does. I realize now that my past is interfering with her childhood. I have NEVER told anyone this, I was sexually abused by my bothers since the age of 8 until 18. I got married and got out, I ended up getting divorced and having nowhere to go but home, and one of my brothers started this again. I am totally rely on my mom right now and I can't tell anyone. HE has his own life and family but "stops in" to check on us. My mom thinks its so nice that he's soo concerned, I just want to wake up from all this... I tried to go to Social service for help, somewhere to live, food stamps till I can get on my feet, and was denied because I live with my mom. If I didn't have my children, I would be living a completely different life. I know EVERYTHING going on in my children's lives, I don't know how my mom can't know. I can't say anything because it would totally explode my family! I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO stuck I don't know what to do anymore. I can't even say this out loud, because then it will be real and I don't know if I would be able to breathe afterwards. I just googled something about taking to a mother regarding this matter and this site came up.

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almost 11 years ago

lora,

You as a mother upon discovering what you say you saw, having your child examined by proffessionals was correct. However, these professionals all said there was no signs of sexual abuse niether physicly nor phychologicly. Now you may also wish to seek a phychologist to help you cope with what you saw and also to help you to search for any repressed memories of past abuse in your life that may be causing you to see things others dont seem to correlate. Dont shame your family and destroy what you have if it is your own repressed memories or your own incestual past.

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over 11 years ago

thank god or whomever, for google. i took care of my brother for 6 years, six years ago and the horrifying facts of that time are just rearing it's ugly head. my family was trying so desp. to "fix" me and just wanted me to be "happier" so much so, that they wanted to send me to "THE BEST" psych hospital to find a cure. having now weaned off of a 19 year anti-depressant use and am SAFE and have been under a psych and lcsw's care, the truth comes out. any sites i can look at would be helpful. thank you......