Widowhood

The issue of gender differences in adaptation to widowhood has long been debated. The evidence does suggest a somewhat greater vulnerability for widowers (Stroebe and Stroebe 1983; Lee et al. 2001). Men are less likely to have same-sex widowed friends, more likely to be older and less healthy, have fewer family and social ties, and experience greater difficulty in becoming proficient in domestic roles (Lee et al. 2001). Higher mortality and suicide rates also suggest somewhat greater distress among widowers. It is important to note, however, that widows and widowers share many similar bereavement experiences and adjustments. There is considerable empirical support for the conclusion that although they do experience some aspects of grief differently, men and women have a good deal in common with respect to loss-related feelings, mental and physical health, and social life (Lund 1989).

Duration of widowhood has been associated with loss of income and increased risk of poverty. The death of husbands results in lower financial status for wives, many of whom become impoverished following bereavement (Hungerford 2001). Two-fifths of widows fall into poverty at some time during the five years following the death of their husbands. Widowers also suffer a decline in economic well-being, albeit to a lesser degree than their female counterparts (Zick and Smith 1991). People often fail to plan for the economic consequences of spousal loss. Elderly persons frequently have below-average incomes prior to the death of their marital partner. Once bereaved, their circumstances may worsen, especially if they have been stay-at-home wives who were highly dependent on their husband's income. They may be unwilling or unable to seek or find employment, and they are likely to face discrimination in the labor market (Morgan 1989; MacDonald 2000). Given their age, they may lack the education or skills required to compete for jobs. The younger widowed are more likely to have lost a spouse suddenly and may thus be unprepared to cope with lowered financial subsistence. Poor adjustment to being widowed, therefore, can often be attributed to socioeconomic deprivation. This is especially apt to be the case among members of disadvantaged racial/ethnic groups, whose recovery may be impeded by discrimination and inequitable social policies that affect their health and financial circumstances (Angel 2001; Berardo 2001; Blieszner 1993).

Regardless of the income level, the widowed person faces financial transitions upon the death of a spouse. These include dealing with: (1) immediate practical concerns that may take one to two weeks; (2) financial and legal concerns that might take one week to several months; and (3) settling tax concerns that may take one to two years. There are many published guidelines and web sites that hold useful tips, pitfalls, and checklists for this process.

Widowhood often leads to changes in living arrangements. Reduced income may force surviving spouses to seek more affordable housing. They may also choose to relocate for other reasons such as future financial and health concerns, a desire to divest of possessions, or to be near kin or friends. Most often, the people living alone are women—usually elderly widows. Isolation and lack of social support can lead to deterioration in physical and mental well-being. Compared to elderly married couples, widows and widowers are much more apt to live in poverty and are less likely to receive medical care when needed (Hungerford 2001).

As mentioned above, the probability for remarriage is significantly less for widows than widowers, especially at older ages. They may feel they are committing psychological bigamy and therefore reject remarriage as an option (DiGiulio 1989). There is also a tendency to idealize the former partner, a process known as sanctification (Lopata 1996). This makes it difficult to find a new partner who can compare favorably with the idealized image of the deceased. There are other barriers to remarriages for the widowed. Dependent children may limit the opportunities of their widowed parents to meet potential mates or to develop relationships with them. Older children may oppose remarriage out of concern for their inheritance. Widowed persons who cared for a dependent spouse through a lengthy, terminal illness may be unwilling to risk this burden again. Widowers remarry more frequently than widows (Berardo 1992). This is due to the lack of eligible men and cultural norms that degrade the sexuality of older women and discourage them from selecting younger mates. Many women manage to develop and value a new and independent identity beyond widowhood, leading them to be less interested in reentering the marriage market.