Widowhood

The degree of adjustment encountered by widowed people in the transition to their new status varies by developmental stages. The death of a marital partner in young marriages is relatively uncommon; nevertheless, when it does occur it is apt to make bereavement and the survivor role much more difficult to accommodate than in later life "because of unfulfilled hopes and dreams, the lack of fit with other couples at the same life phase, and the lack of models of the same cohort" undergoing this experience (Walsh and McGoldrick 1991, p. 18). Typically there has been little or no emotional preparation for the shock and isolation of early widowhood. Being suddenly left alone to rear young children, for example, can be extremely trying, and at the same time impedes the progress of personal and familial recovery. The immediate and growing financial and caretaking obligations of single parenthood can interfere with the tasks of mourning (Levinson 1997). Adult friends and relatives can and often do provide assistance with everyday chores, such as cooking and housecleaning. Bereaved husbands, generally speaking, are more apt to receive these kinds of practical supports than bereaved wives. On the other hand, the wives are more likely to have a more extensive range of intimate family and friendship relationships that help to facilitate their emotional grief work.

Older people adapt more readily to widowhood because losing a spouse at advanced ages is more the norm and often anticipated, thus making acceptance of the loss somewhat easier. Research on surviving spouses over age sixty-five revealed that those who were more dependent upon their spouses show higher levels of anxiety than those who were not (Carr et al. 2000). Grief over the death of a husband or wife at older ages can be exacerbated if additional significant others also die requiring multiple or simultaneous grieving. This can cause bereavement overload, which makes it difficult for the survivor to complete the grief work and bring closure to the bereavement process. There is general consensus that the distress associated with conjugal bereavement diminishes over time. Grief becomes less intense as years pass, but this is not a simple, linear process. The emotional and psychological traumas of grief and mourning may sporadically reappear long after the spouse has died.