Indonesia

Marriage and parenthood give people full adult status. In Indonesian, one does not ask, "Is he/she married?" but "Is he/she married yet?" to which the correct response is, "Yes" or "Not yet." The same is true in questions about whether a person has children. Unmarried adults are uncommon, though urban people are marrying at later ages than in the past or in rural society. Even homosexuals are under family pressure to marry, whether or not their orientation is known.

Marriage in many Indonesian societies commonly involves protracted negotiation and gift exchanges, often involving middle persons. Certain societies in Sumatra and Eastern Indonesia practice affinal alliance, by which marriages are arranged between persons in patrilineages who are related (near or distantly) as cross-cousins. In these societies the relationship between wife-giving and wife-taking lineages is basic to the structure of society and involves lifelong obligations for exchange of goods and services between kin (Singarimbum 1975). For Batak, a prominent Sumatran example of such a people, clan membership and marriage alliances between lineages are important whether they live in their mountain homeland or have migrated to distant cities. Though marriages may be made to perpetuate relationships between lineages, love between young people also may be considered by their families and kinsmen, as may education, occupation, religion, and wealth among urbanites. Newly married couples are usually expected to live with the parents of one spouse, especially before a child is born, and many societies require the husband to serve the wife's parents during that time.

In societies without lineal descent groups, love is more prominent in leading people to marry, but again class, education, occupation, religion, or wealth (in cities), or the capacity to work hard, be a good provider, and have access to land or other resources (in villages), are also considered. Among stratified societies such as Javanese or Bugis, higher status families are more likely to arrange marriages (or veto potential relationships). Marriage can be an important means of maintaining, advancing, or losing family social status, and extravagant marriage ceremonies with Hindu-derived ritual are used to display status (Koentjaraningrat 1985).

Among Muslims divorce is governed by Muslim law and may be settled in Muslim courts or, as with non-Muslims, in government civil courts. Initiation of divorce and its settlements favor males in Muslim courts and also much customary law. Divorce also may be handled by local elders and officials according to customary law, and terms for settlements may vary considerably by ethnic group. Societies with strong descent groups, such as the Batak, eschew divorce and it is rare (Rodenburg 1997). Such societies may also practice the levirate (requiring widows to remarry a brother or cousin of their deceased spouse). In societies without descent groups, such as the Javanese, divorce is reportedly frequent and is initiated by either spouse. Divorce among upper-class and wealthy Javanese is rarer (Brenner 1998).

Polygamy is recognized among Muslims, some immigrant Chinese, and some traditional societies, but not by Christians. Such marriages are probably few. Marriages between members of different religions are rare, and those between members of different ethnic groups remain relatively uncommon, though they are increasing in urban areas and among the better educated.