The Disturbing Effects of Families
Although the presence of children may protect their parents from suicide, the parents may increase the risk of suicide in the children. Even sibling position may play a role, as Alfred Adler (1958) suggested, with completed suicide being less common in last-borns and attempted suicide less common in first borns (Lester 2000).
Although in general, having a spouse and children reduces the risk of suicide, family members can play a role in precipitating suicide. For example, often family members feel and express a great deal of hostility toward one another. In psychic homicide, an individual commits suicide in response to the conscious or unconscious murderous impulses for them (Meerloo 1962). The role of murderous desires of parents toward their offspring may play a greater role in adolescent suicides than in the suicides of older adults. Transactional analysis has proposed that suicidal individuals had parents who experienced these desires (such as "I wish you had never been born") during the baby's first year of life.
It is difficult to show these effects with research, but the hostility has been observed at the time of the suicidal behavior. For example, Milton Rosenbaum and Joseph Richman (1970) in their study of attempted suicides reported a mother's first statement to her 24-year-old son in the hospital, "Next time pick a higher bridge." Or a wife whose 70-year-old husband said to her, "If I had a gun, I'd shoot myself," replied, "I'll buy you a gun." He used pills a few days later instead. A father said to his 17-year-old daughter, "We'd all be better off if you were dead. At least we'd know where you are."
There are many features of family life that impact on suicidal behavior. Abuse of children, both physically and sexually, appears to result in an increase in later suicidal behavior as well as other psychiatric disorders and symptoms.
Loss of parents during childhood, especially between the ages of six and sixteen, increases the risk of suicide. David Lester (1989) found that exactly half of a sample of famous suicides, for whom detailed biographies were available, had experienced such loss, such as the poet Sylvia Plath whose father died of natural causes when she was eight. If the parent dies from suicide, then suicide is even more likely in the children.
In general, research finds that married couples in which one partner attempts suicide have poorer communication between each other and more destructive conflicts (such as avoiding discussion and fleeing the home), and that the suicidal partner is more psychiatrically disturbed (Lester 2000).
Suicidal behavior in family members increases the risk of suicide in other family members, perhaps because this indicates a greater acceptance of suicidal behavior as a solution to problems in that family, or perhaps because the occurrence of suicide in many family members indicates the presence of an inherited psychiatric disorder. In the Hemingway family, for example, Ernest's father completed suicide, and so did three of his six children (including Ernest, of course). It is likely that an affective disorder was passed down in this family, but also completing suicide in middle age when suffering from severe medical problems appears to have become a learned strategy in the family.
However, this copycat (or contagion) effect is also found in social groups. A suicide in an adolescent is occasionally followed by "imitation" suicides among his or her peers (Maris, Berman, and Silverman 2000), and in these cases inheritance does not play a role.
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5 months ago
I hate how people say it's so easy to over come suicide no it's not. I have cut myself and done so many things to try and kill myself; my parents have tried to put me in hospitial. So i get better? No i think it would make me so much worse. i have been on medication and i have gone to conciling nothing seems to work i guess i just don't know what to do. i'm not gonna lie i feel like the only thing that could ever make me happy is this boy. why i'm not sure. i don't even know why i'm telling you this. i go to youth group and church as well. && i love going. i'm probaly younger than most on this page. i am only 15. there is alot that goes on in my life that i can't share on this web page.. but i just want you to know. i have tried commiting it. & don't know how to stop. you all say god saved you. he didn't save me. why didn't he save me? because he doesn't want me. that's my solution. oh well thanks for reading.
8 months ago
Stay strong all! You all have the strength to overcome with the assistance of loved ones, professionals, and yourselves.
8 months ago
Hi Gang! It's been about 6 months since I last posted. I am still keeping on the depression free path, and hope that you are all on your way to recovery as well. If not, like I posted in my last message, drop me an email and I will get back with you. cekka.le@gmail.com I know that depression is the hardest thing to ever have to deal with and suicide even harder. BUT let me tell YOU there is hope and there is a better life out there for YOU!! Believe me I have been there, suffered through it and overcome. I know how you feel and I know that you feel like that there is no 'light at the end of the tunnel' but there is, you've just got to believe me. It's truely a blessing that I am alive and still here breathing because our Great Lord knows that I should be dead and in hell at this very moment. But NO He cared enought about me that He gave His life that I might live and help others. Just as I hope that I might be doing now. Please don't hesitate to drop me an email. I'm on every single day. I'm praying for YOU!!! Every day!! May God Bless YOU!!! And may you get through this struggle and come out on top and have the greatest happiness that you never thought possible. My Most Sincere Thoughts and Prayers are for YOU my friend! Sincerely, Leanne
about 1 year ago
Hi I'm Leanne, I fought depression for 7 years and through that time, attempted suicide 8 times and the 6th and 8th time I was put in the hospital. I can honestly say that I am better now. I have God in my life and I am now speaking to groups of teens and younger adults about depression and suicide. I am in my second year of college studying to get my doctorate in Psychology with the hopes of someday opening up my own Mental Health Clinic. So who ever you may be out there if you are suffering from depression or are thinking about suicide write me a message....cekka.le@gmail.com AND I WILL get back with you. God Bless and keep on keeping on! Leanne
about 1 year ago
Hello. I attempted suicide in January 1994 and ended up in the hospital for two weeks. It changed my life for the better because finally I was forced into counselling. I had been sexually, physically and mentally abused by my father. My mother chose not to leave my father and had little to do with me later when I chose to not have a relationship with my father. I got into four bad marriages..abusive in different ways. My husband now is great with the SILENT TREATMENT. As you see I used big letters to state that. I will not be silent but I will be silent to him. I can't help him. I have to help myself. There is life after depression. I'm not all the way out of depression but I'm well on my way. I can at least finally recognize when somebody is abusive towards me. It's a step in the right direction. I am a survivor of so much abuse and I will survive my present abusive husband. I will get on the other side of depression. God has given us so much to enjoy and I am going to enjoy it all. Thank you, God!