Singles/Never Married Persons - Psychosocial Characteristics Of The Never Married
Psychosocial Characteristics of the Never Married
The never married are a diverse and complex group. They differ by sexual orientation, age, health status, ethnicity, and living arrangements, and are as varied as married persons by social class background, education, occupation, and income level. The life satisfaction of the never married, in general, is similar to the married and better than for other unmarried groups, particularly the divorced. The health status of single men tends to be poorer than for married men, while never married women tend to enjoy better health than other women. In later life, the never married are more likely to face economic insecurity (particularly older women) and weaker social support networks (particularly older men) than are their married counterparts. Marcia Bedard (1992) and others contend that the happiness of single people is related to meeting their social and economic needs, not to the issue of being single.
The literature finds other gender differences in how singlehood is experienced, and these differences tend to be complicated by age. Although current older single women tend to be significantly disadvantaged in economic terms, younger and middle-aged single women tend to have high general ability scores, are highly educated, and have high-status occupations. The situation for single men tends to be different. Many men who remain unmarried are often "those at the very bottom of the social scale, with no women available who are sufficiently low in status" (Unger and Crawford 1992, p. 386).
Never married women tend to manage their lives better than do single men. Studies suggest that single men are more depressed, report lower levels of well-being and life satisfaction and poorer health, and are more likely to commit suicide than single women. It may be that single women's greater ability to maintain close and supportive ties over their lifetime with family members, particularly siblings, and with friends, contributes to their greater overall well-being.
In general, however, never married people report satisfaction in terms of friendships, general health, standard of living, and finances. They are more likely to live with others, such as siblings or other relatives, than are the widowed or divorced, and less likely to be lonely when compared to the other unmarried groups. Although the social networks of the never married tend to be smaller than for the married, the majority of never married individuals are socially active, with friends, neighbors, and relatives, as well as dating partners. Family ties are often central in the lives of the never married, particularly never married women, whose roles include caring for parents, being a lifelong companion to siblings, and serving as a surrogate mother to siblings' children (Allen and Pickett 1987). Friendship ties also take on great significance in the lives of many never married adults, particularly women, across their life course (Campbell, Connidis, and Davies 1999).
Nevertheless, people who remain single throughout their lives still face difficulties. The availability of a willing sexual partner, particularly in later life, is more likely to be a problem for the unmarried than for married couples. Further, for those who live alone, the financial costs tend to be greater than for those who share a household. Also, because most informal support is provided by a spouse and/or adult children, the never married in later life are more likely than the married to have to rely on formal support. When caregiving needs increase, never married older women in particular have a greater likelihood of requiring placement in a long-term care facility than older married women or those with children.
User Comments Add a comment…
about 1 month ago
Hubert
The reason why never married single men might be happier than divorced men, as the article suggests, is that certainly a divorced man will feel the pain of having committed to marriage, only to have it later break up. That is why so often divorced men just have to have a woman. The pain can be remedied by making a good assessment of why the marriage failed, and then carefully searching out a more suitable partner for a second marriage. Just living with another woman will never make a man happy, the commitment of marriage is a requirement for that.
about 1 month ago
MJ » revmrk ((at)) aol dot com
I am a 45 y.o. never married male. Never had a serious relationship in my life. I'm quiet and shy and like both sexes, men more than women though. I have no desire to have kids. I think I have some social anxiety and a low libido as well. This state in life is a mixed bag. It's nice to be free and independent, but can also be lonely and unfulfilling at times. I think acceptance of the situation is about all I can do. I would like to meet a soul mate some day to share my life with, but have never really met anyone (that I know of) who would be compatible. I have a hard time telling when some one is interested in me. I'm not very socially adept to that, unfortunately. Such is life...
2 months ago
JPM » j dot mccafferty266 ((at)) btinternet dot com
I am a 48 yr old man & never married.No dates.Girlfriends & certainly no kids.Probably because I was shy.No confidence.Low self esteem.Anxiety etc.
I've had crushes on certain females sinse I was about 18. I remember having a crush on a girl called Kim which lasted about 3 yrs & did after about 15 mths actually get the courage to ask her out but to no avail.
Then the spell was broken & I developed a crush on someone else which lasted for many yrs & obviously turned into an obsession and never got round to asking her out & the stupid part was because I became somewhat obsessed with this now inacessable idol, I missed out on women which I believe "AFTERWARDS" were showing an interest in me.Watta said git I am.
3 months ago
Jeff
I am a 48 year year old never married man. I have had around 6 dates in my life and never had a long term girlfriend. I would get so nervous and shy on dates and come off as boring, when I really am pretty interesting. My problem is I always go for very attractive woman. Attractive women have so many choices.
I am still pretty happy and spend my time with friends that are also single.I have a special bond and feeling for never married men over 45. I would love to get married someday but doubt I ever will.
4 months ago
Hubert
I am 62, people who do not know me well just assume I am either married or divorced, because I do not look like a guy who would never get married. I have dated at times but dating did not work well for me as I am not comfortable with commitment.
I think I was predisposed to the single life, because as a middle child in a family with eight children, I kind of got lost in the shuffle, was very shy, and really did not learn how to talk to women until I was well into my adulthood.
4 months ago
dan wadlow
I am a 33 year old male and never married. I don't plan on getting married. I go out on dates two or three times a year, usually when women ask me or friends set me up. I just don't have any desire to "settle down". I enjoy doing things on my own. I have friends I hang out with when I want. I'm not at the bottem of the economic scale, I make $40,000.00 a year.
5 months ago
Eric
I find this article a bit humorous and some what stereotypicle. I find it difficult to believe that individuals who have chosen not to be married have anything but an improved life. I am a 42 year old male who revals in the fact that all financial, emotional and spiritual decisions are on my shoulders alone. There are several avenues to find social networks with similar interest. Especially for singles and/or the never married.
The company of the opposite sex is always enjoyable and should be a priority for single men. As we all age, it is our responsiblity to maintain a heathly lifestyle in order the attract the opposite sex. One desires one that is desirable. I think one who maintains a heathly lifestyle and a positive outlook on life "married", "unmarried" or "never married" can and will find successful and meaningful friendships.
8 months ago
Karl » karlbackpacker ((at)) hotmail dot com
I agree that single unmarried men have less social contact than similar women,because society regards single men over 40 as weird and a threat,but women are seen as more trustworthy and approachable,small minded people where I live ask why I'm not married or have a girlfriend and say are you gay or a pervert? I just say,women don't find me attractive,besides I have nothing to offer women like money or property,because even with the so called equality,men are still supposed to provide everything,a wealthy man will take on a poor women,but it rarely happens the other way around,women say they want equality,but only as and when it suits them,anyway women occasionally like me as a friend,and often as a pen pal but using a computer,I don't go to pubs or night clubs,but go to folk clubs and folk festivals as well as canoeing , walking and cycling clubs,where I do meet women,but the only single ones are far too young,I have never had sex or a girlfriend,and to be honest am no longer bothered,but I am very lonely and only 41,so it's going to get a lot worse.
10 months ago
cman » c ((at)) c dot com
"It may be that single women's greater ability to maintain close and supportive ties over their lifetime with family members, particularly siblings, and with friends, contributes to their greater overall well-being."
Wrong, women are less likely to form close and supportive ties with friends than men are.
about 1 year ago
HG » NA ((at)) NA dot com
The line "Many men who remain unmarried are often those at the very bottom of the social scale, with no women available who are sufficiently low in status" is completely ridiculous. I do agree to the fact that one is required to have a suitable partner to carry on and live your old-age, but the decision to stay single has in fact no way related to your social scale.
I am well educated, well placed and am living a very happy and content life. I have never married and never will (by personal decision/choice).
I am 28 yrs old and I personally believe that marriage is a individual’s decision to share his/her life, to be prepared for compromises and willingness to make sacrifices.
Being alone, allows us to be at peace, allocate tremendous time to activities which you dream of and have a jolly time.
I completely disagree to the above high-lighted line. It’s redundant.
about 1 year ago
Brian » Aristocrat ((at)) yahoo dot com
Im a 26 year old male and have never married. I think the line up there that said "Many men who remain unmarried are often "those at the very bottom of the social scale, with no women available who are sufficiently low in status". In my experience this is complete bunk. There is a growing number of people who seriously believe the concept of marriage, especially in the United States, is a terrible idea. If you're like me and dont have a desire to raise children, then there is absolutely no reason to marry. There is no benefit for the man to get married. Its in a mans brain wiring to want a variety of people in our sex life. This is coming from Dr Drew who ran the loveline show for over a decade. Men need variety and every intimate relationship has an expiration date. Why would you sign a lifetime contract with someone in your 20's? People live a long time now. When the concept of marriage came into existence the average life expectancy was 25-30 years tops. You had nothing to lose by getting married at those ages. Things have changed, people are evolving, and marriage isnt for everyone. Theres a lot of unhappy married people out there who will wreck the rest of their life because their too afraid to divorce and move on. Either for bogus religious reasons or their warped sense of morals, they'll let their 1 life on this planet be tainted with someone they no longer love. This is the saddest existence you could strive for, and it seems everyones lining up to sign their life away.
about 1 year ago
39 and Still Single » jp1022jill ((at)) hotmail dot com
I'm 39 (close to turning 40) and have never married/engaged or had children. I guess I was never presented the opportunity. I had dreams of being married and having a big family, but as the years go by it all seems to have faded. What do you you do when you're faced with the fact that no one chose you? How do you answer all the stupid questions from others? (As though being alone in life was a "choice")I'm slowly learning to be content and acceptmy life for what it is.
about 1 year ago
lucy » alicia_d_i ((at)) yahoo dot com
I am a 24 yers beautiful woman, a have 3 engagement rings, from 3 difrent mens, and still i did not make the big step, and i do not think that i'll ever make it. But i am shure that if you'll get merid, at one point you will fell sorry, and if you don't the same. And passing of the years showed me that my espectations grew up, with every year. From naw on will be more edificult..... I just want to say Congradulations to Miss Elaine. I do belive that some people are not ment to get married. It is pointless to feel sorry naw, that was your life unti'll naw, be happy with it
over 2 years ago
Elaine » lslieg ((at)) aol dot com
I'd like to hear from others who have never married, never had children and how they feel about it in retrospect. I'm 66, still attractive, female, who almost married a few times, and did not. Now wishing I had done so and feeling like I'm just now ready and able to have a mutually fulfilling relationship...I wonder if I ever will find that person who I'm willing to share a life with...only one man in my life would I have done so with, only one man whom I wanted to have children with. Now, due to our society and my own expectations...I feel I haven't truly lived life. Still..I have hopes to have a partner who will treasure me as I do him. Anyone else out there who wishes to share their experiences?