Later Life Families

Among today's older adults, the death of a spouse is the typical way a marital relationship ends. Given that women tend to outlive men and to marry men who are the same age or older than themselves, women continue to be much more likely than men to be widowed (Connidis 2001). Approximately two-thirds of women aged 80 and over are widowed. In contrast, the majority of men aged 80 and over is married.

The loss of a spouse is among the most stressful life events that an individual will experience (Martin-Matthews 1991). Although widowhood is an "expectable life event" for older women, "the duration of the spouse's final illness and forewarning of the death" (Martin-Matthews 1991, p. 21) shape a widow's experience of the loss of her husband. Widowhood tends to be preceded by a period of time in which men and women provide care for their ailing spouse, usually the wife caring for the husband (Wells and Kendig 1997). Undoubtedly, the stress and anguish associated with the care of a failing spouse may account for the declines in marital satisfaction in later life (VanLaningham, Johnson, and Amato 2001). At the same time, Helena Lopata (2000) notes that an individual's experience of widowhood is shaped by the cultural importance given to marriage. In developing countries where women have less power and access to resources and where they derive social status and security from their husbands, widows may face financial and social adversity in addition to profound feelings of grief and loss.

Although remarriage following the death of a spouse in later life is uncommon, more men remarry than do women. Carolyn Rosenthal and James Gladstone (1994) suggest that the primary motivations for remarrying in later life are the desire for companionship and the wish to feel useful and able to contribute to another person's happiness. The higher remarriage rates of men may be due to the greater number of potential marriage partners (O'Bryant and Hansson 1995). Similarly, the overall low rates of remarriage among older men and women are due to fears of social disapproval, financial concerns, and the opposition of other family members (O'Bryant and Hansson 1995). Maria Talbott's (1998) study of attitudes towards remarriage reveals that older women are reluctant to remarry because they do not want to give up their freedom, they are not interested in establishing a new sexual relationship, they do not want to go through the loss of another husband, they fear the reactions of their children, they feel that it would be disloyal to their deceased husband, and/or they do not want to take on additional domestic responsibilities.

Divorce among later life couples continues to be rare, although the rates are increasing. Laurie Hatch (2000) notes that divorce in later life may be more disruptive to an individual's life than widowhood. Unlike widowhood, divorce in later life is unexpected and is often accompanied by a sense of social stigma. Charles Hennon (1995) states that divorced older adults report lower life satisfaction and physical well-being than do their widowed counterparts. William Aquilino (1994) reports that couples who divorce in later life tend to have less contact and poorer quality relationships with their adult children. The relationships between adult children and fathers tend to be more negatively impacted by later life divorce than the relationships between adult children and mothers.

Although later life divorce is rare, divorce among the younger generations is not uncommon. Older adults whose children divorce may feel caught in the middle between their biological offspring and their sons- and daughters-in-law. Depending upon custody arrangements, grandparents may have increased or decreased access to their grandchildren following the divorce of the middle generation. For example, should the grandchildren be placed in the primary custody of their mother, the paternal grandparents may see their grandchildren less often.